Poor RiRi – she’s been all over the news lately for all the wrong reasons. Even though her most recent album, Unapologetic, peaked at number one on the US Billboard 200, Rihanna has been taking more flak for her renewed relationship with Chris Brown than praise for her latest musical success. But while Chris and RiRi’s volatile on-again, off-again relationship is obviously unhealthy – and possibly downright dangerous – there is a lot that we, as college-aged girls, can learn from their tryst.
It’s More Common Than You Think
Domestic violence is everywhere in the news these days – and it isn’t all about Chris and Rihanna. On Valentine’s Day, high-profile Olympic athlete Oscar Pistorius shot and killed his girlfriend, reportedly during a heated argument. The Center for Disease Control estimates that one in four women has experienced domestic violence in her lifetime. What’s more, statistics show that women ages 20 to 24 are the most at-risk of experiencing nonfatal intimate partner violence. In other words, college-aged women need to be careful about who they date.
A History of Violence
Even after the infamous Rihanna incident, it was clear that Chris had not learned his lesson. Last July, he was involved in a highly publicized and bloody brawl with Drake at a New York nightclub. He has also made numerous tweets – mostly later deleted – in which he has expressed extreme anger and revealed his scary temper. In even more recent incidents, Chris has exposed his immaturity and blatant disrespect of other people. At the 2013 Grammy Awards, Chris refused to clap for fellow nominee Frank Ocean after losing the award for best urban contemporary album to him.
A history of violence or threats, a disrespectful attitude, and an explosive temper can all be huge warning signs. Oscar Pistorius, the Olympian who murdered his girlfriend, was charged with assault of a previous girlfriend only three years ago. Be wary of guys with violent tempers and guys who have committed violent acts in the past – they’re often the ones who will have violent outbursts in the future.
It’s A Cycle
We’ve all heard of the cycle of abuse, or at least the idea that abusers often abuse again and again. Unfortunately, the rumors are true: a study found that in Rhode Island, one-third of people on probation for domestic violence were rearrested for the same crime within two months of being placed on probation. Although Chris Brown has not allegedly committed further acts of violence against Rihanna, his nightclub brawl with Drake occurred soon after his domestic violence arrest.
What’s more, as we see with Rihanna, it can be very difficult for women to permanently leave their abusers. In an interview with Oprah, Rihanna revealed that she and Chris “will always love each other” and that Chris is “the love of her life.” With such strong feelings, their reconciliation seemed almost inevitable. However, Rihanna must be wary of the past moving forward, and remember that it is very difficult for abusers to change. Statistics show that, on average, it takes a woman seven attempts at an abusive relationship before she decides to leave forever. We can only hope that RiRi and Chris’s relationship doesn’t take a violent turn again, forcing Rihanna to leave and reconcile once more.
Reach Out
If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, there are tons of resources out there. On the University of Michigan campus itself, the Sexual Assault Prevention and Awareness Center (SAPAC) offers a 24-hour crisis line and numerous support groups and workshops. Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) also offers counseling and peer support resources. Although it is often extremely difficult to reach out and ask for help, it is the first step to a lifetime of happier, healthier relationships.
Despite Chris Brown’s violent past and volatile temper, we can only hope that his relationship with Rihanna doesn’t take a turn for the worse – again. Domestic violence is very common, especially among women our age, so we must be careful about who we date, and not afraid to seek help if things do go terribly wrong. Reach out if you know someone in a bad situation, or if you find yourself needing support. After all, we can be each other’s greatest resource.