Take a deep breath. I hear you; in fact, every college kid on campus hears you. For those already undergoing the process, don’t worry, it gets better. And for those of you yet to spiral out of control, brace yourselves. It’s going to be a rough few days as we all attempt to put our lives back together, but in these tough times, we must all stand united and work together as we face the Ten Stages of Mourning the Loss of Thanksgiving Break.
1. Denial – Hiding your backpack under your bed and putting off doing any school work for as long as possible because IT. IS. STILL. BREAK. DAMMIT.
2. Redecorating – Actually hanging up all the turkey decorations that your weird aunt sent you a month ago that you totally forgot about/were too lazy to hang up before.
3. Emotional Eating – Binging at all hours of the day on all the leftovers your mom sent home with you…because who doesn’t love green bean casserole at 8:30 A.M.?
4. Physical Pains – Your couch at school just isn’t as plush as your parent’s couch, and your butt definitely reminds you every time you sit down to watch something on TV.
5. Pity Drinking – Throwing your own Michigan tailgate because even though all the haters say that football season is over, you’re a true fan and know it never really ends.
6. The Financial Burden – Literally having to pay your roommates to drag you to the gym to start working off the 27 pounds you gained over break, making you regret not stressing how broke you were when you saw your grandparents on Thanksgiving.
7. Placing Blame – Slowly accepting the fact that there won’t be carb-loaded deliciousness fresh out of the oven every single time you walk through the kitchen will cause you to lash out at your roommates.
8. Expanding your Palate – Eating something that isn’t brown or orange or out of a Tupperware container for the first time in a week (baby steps right?).
9. Entering Back into Reality – Looking at a calendar will be confusing and shocking at first, but realizing there are only two weeks of classes left will leave you feeling ecstatic.
10. Discovering New Hobbies– Realizing ABC Family’s “25 Days of Christmas” schedule is out and subsequently blocking out all of the “Elf” viewings from your schedule for the next three weeks will give you reason to live.
You can do it. We can all do it. And if you’re still mourning after all ten steps, just remember your grandma’s annual package of homemade Christmas cookies is due any day now, and as we all can agree, food can solve anything.
Images courtesy of Giphy, Indiewire