Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve

No, I’m not quite talking about the Taylor Swift song (although it is my favorite bonus track on Midnights). I can’t even count the number of times I’ve thought Oh, I should’ve kept that to myself or I should’ve gathered the courage to raise my hand say the answer. I’ve been a bit introverted all my life so getting my thoughts out sometimes requires so much planning that I never quite get to the executing stage. Afterward, however, I almost always regret not speaking up, which leads to replaying the situation in my mind and imagining the ideal scenario where I didn’t stop myself from sharing my thoughts. 

When the professor calls on three different people who don’t quite get the answer that I had been thinking all along, I wish I had just answered. But I tend to overthink: Is my answer right? Will the professor be able to hear me in these large lecture halls? The thought of all the students’ eyes on me stops my hand from reaching into the air. 

So what if my answer might be wrong? I don’t remember whoever answered things wrong in class and no one will think about my answer except me. So what if I have to repeat myself? So what if everyone turns to me? (But let’s be real, half the people in the lecture hall aren’t even paying attention anyway.) This is the truth regarding the numerous thoughts that flood my head. That’s why this year, I’m working on rethinking my overthinking. 

So you’re an overthinker like me, what can you do about it? 

1. Recognize when you’re stuck in your head 

It’s easy to get fixated on the same idea when you’re overthinking. The first step is to recognize when you’re falling into these patterns. If you find yourself replaying a situation or coming up with hundreds of worst-case scenarios, take a moment to reset before it gets too out of hand. Taking a few deep breaths can help calm your mind, and identifying when you’re falling into this cycle is the best way to start to combat it. 

2. Look at the big picture 

When we overthink, we tend to focus on small details that seem super important to us, but are likely inconsequential in reality. Getting a question wrong in class, having an awkward encounter after passing a friend on the street, asking a seemingly simple question–in the long run, no one is really going to remember these situations that we might dwell on for hours and hours. When I struggle to just get the words out, I try to remember that in the grand scheme of things, no one is going to remember the details of a situation that I may replay a hundred times in my head. Remembering the bigger picture can help you break out of a cycle of overthinking. 

3. Ask for help 

And of course, there is nothing wrong with asking for help. Whether it’s professional help, leaning on a friend or a family member, having someone to talk to can be a great way to break the cycle of overthinking. Talking to someone about your worries can be a good way to get out of your head and not focus on the minute details of a situation that other people will likely not see.  

Yes, I know what you’re thinking; easier said than done. But making a conscious effort to use these strategies can help you overcome your overthinking.