My tattoos are on my body. Although many people seem to think that my tattoos were done to please others, they are actually all done for myself. In the past, Iâve received certain comments about my tattoos that were either totally rude, or flat out weird, and just unacceptable altogether. As a way of voicing some things Iâve always wanted to say in response, Iâm dedicating this article for those whoâve never had tattoos, to give you some perspective about how your judgment or comments (intentional or not) can resonate with the people who have them.
Staring
I love my tattoos and Iâm most likely always going to get new ones, but I canât help but think about the fact that I always end up wearing long sleeve shirts in 30 degree weather, because I really canât stand people staring. Since my arms are moderately tattooed, itâs hard for me rock any of my sleeveless tops confidently. This is especially the case when Iâm constantly getting random looks and unwanted attention towards my body, usually leaving me with anxiety. What tends to bother me is the fact that normally, people wonât continuously stare at any random body part to the point that person is uncomfortable, so why do it to me just because thereâs a tattoo in that area?
What makes matters worse, is when someone will come and ask a person to turn their arm around so they can see their full tattoo. However, you would never think to go up to someone with a scar or a birthmark, and ask them to move their hair out of the way to get a better look at it, so why do it to me? Itâs really inconceivable to me that strangers feel that itâs okay to analyze somebodyâs arm just because it looks unique. Whatâs worse is that some of those strangers even feel like they have the right to ask me to model my own body parts for their personal pleasure.
I know that some people with tattoos are more open and inviting towards others looking at their tattoos, and may not be bothered at all. However, that is not an assumption nor excuse any stranger can make if that person hasnât expressed that. If you want to look at a tattoo, do it quickly, admire the art, and move on.
Asking about the meaning
When I was fighting my out of depressing, I had gotten a tattoo to remind myself of the brighter things ahead of me. Now, whenever people (especially strangers) come up to me and ask ââwhatâs the meaning behind this tattoo?ââ, I canât help but feel a slight panic. Iâm not comfortable with lying, but I also donât want to share my past with mental health issues with people who donât have the right to know anything about me. Also, most of my tattoos I simply got for the art, there is no ââmeaningââ behind them. Whether it has a meaning or not, it is not your right to ask about someoneâs private life. Just because you can see my body art, doesnât mean Iâm sharing it with you.
Yes, I know theyâre permanent
I always wonder why people felt the need to constantly remind me that tattoos are permanent, I know they are. Iâm the one who chose to go through the pain, and spend my money on it, knowing that tattoos will stay in my skin forever. For those who donât have tattoos, comments like these show a lot of disrespect to that personâs ability to make choices and decisions for their own, which brings me to my next point below!
I am not a child
I always feel Iâm being treated like a child when someone starts telling me what I should or should not be doing with my body. It baffles me that for whatever reason, an adult feels the need, and the right to tell another adult what to do or how they should feel about their own skin. Iâm sure youâve never been asked by a random stranger why you donât have any visible tattoos, or that youâre going to regret leaving your skin bare. Itâs really simple, respect my decisions, just as Iâve respected yours.
I won’t regret it
I wonât regret my tattoos. Even in the rare case that I do end up regretting them, why would you feel good about yourself thinking thatâs something you should be telling me? Itâs an odd concept to think that itâs perfectly acceptable to tell someone theyâre going to regret their tattoos, when they invested so much time and money into them. Especially when it doesnât affect anyone else either.
Hereâs whatâs totally cool with me
Opinions, snarky remarks, questions about meaning, and condescending criticism aside, there are lots of other great ways to talk about tattoos, and remain respectful! Itâs awesome to get questions about who the artist was that did the tattoo, advice (based on my experience) if youâre nervous about getting one, and would like some second opinions, and compliments are always welcome!
I hope that this article about my experiences, as well as many others have had with tattoos, has changed your perspective, awareness, and sensitivity towards those of us with tattoos, or any body art! Of course this article is meant to be purely educational, and also helpful to others who have experienced similar situations. If youâre someone who has done some of the things listed above, then Iâm glad youâve taken the time read this article, and educate yourself for future encounters!