Situationship Survival Guide

With cuffing season in full effect, it is time to put on the safety gear and battle against the ‘situationships’ of the year. As a ‘situationship’ survivor, I am prepared to put my secrets on the line to help others through this interesting time of year.  

Those of us who have experienced the dreaded ‘situationship’ know the pain and internal questioning that comes with the territory. Those of you who have not experienced a ‘situationship’ (consider yourselves lucky) have come to the right place to learn how to avoid (or maybe embrace) the reality of the ‘situationship’. 

To ensure we are all on the same page, for the sake of learning let’s define ‘situationship’ as

“A slightly committed but not fully committed relationship that is not actually a relationship but might be, but also might not be” 

Does that make sense? If it does, I have not explained it well enough. To be clear, the only thing guaranteed with a ‘situationship’ is pure confusion, but I am here to tell you that they don’t have to be bad. ‘Situationships’ can be a way to find your likes and dislikes for relationships, they can be fun and carefree, and they can turn into successful relationships – but most often they will not. 

Where to draw the line

Whether you are choosing to enter a ‘situationship’ willingly or have somehow ended up in one and don’t want to go back, it is crucial to establish boundaries. This does not mean having the “what are we” talk, this just means that you need to communicate your needs, wants and goals to your partner (or whatever they are). These goals are probably going to change throughout your time in the ‘situationship’ but if you keep the communication line open, you will prevent yourself a lot of hurt. Make sure you have similar expectations for example, if seeing other people is expected or not. The most hurt can be avoided if you know what you’re getting into before it’s too late. Unfortunately for most of us, this is normally not the case, this is where I’ve come to help.

Someone caught feelings

It is not uncommon to end up with feelings for your ‘situationship’, but it can be challenging to address. Once again, this is something you are better off addressing as early as possible. Feelings could be mutual or not so much and this could end the ‘situationship’ for better or for worse. Either way, the harsh truth of this situation is that the sooner you get hurt the less it will hurt in the long run. If you develop strong feelings and they are not mutual, you are setting yourself up for hurt. It is so easy to continue the relationship ‘for the plot’ but at some point, the plot stops being exciting and starts to hurt.  

KNow your worth

It is possible that you were the one who initiated the ‘situationship’. Commitment issues are real and can be equally frustrating from both sides. If you are looking for fun, there is a chance a ‘situationship’ will occupy you just enough, however, most cases end up in disaster. The best piece of advice that I like to remind myself when I am craving the buzz of a ‘situationship’ is “if they wanted to, they would”. You should never settle for less than you deserve and if it is a relationship you want, there are healthier ways to go about it (I think). Picture a ‘situationship’ as a test period; if you are not being treated well before the relationship, it is not going to magically get better. 

As the ultimate “do it for the plot” girl, it would be hypocritical of me to tell you to run from all red flags and avoid the ‘situationship’ altogether, however in the wise words of my mother, “do as I say, not as I do” (Momma Shep). I hope this was the advice or the eye-opener you needed, and I wish you all the best of luck with cuffing season no matter your situation. Whether you are single, taken, or in a ‘situationship’, we all deserve love and honesty, and I hope you find that within the next months.  

• #dating
• #guide
• situationships