Technology: The modern-day dating killer

In terms of embracing modern technology, I was a bit of a late bloomer. I got my first cell phone at 14, and it was one I used with my sister only when we needed a ride home. I got my first iPod at 15; my first laptop at 18. Now, some people before my generation might say I’m lucky to have at least one of these fancy gadgets, and I am. But if you look at the younger kids of our generation, and the generation after us, it’s become almost normal to see a seven year-old with a cell phone. 

Here at university though, technology affects us in ways that could be detrimental to the future of human relationships. Modern means of communication, such as texting and instant messaging, are being used as an outlet for expressing our problems. We document our every move on Facebook or Twitter, and have typed, rather than verbalized, arguments with friends. I myself am guilty of having text fights, but reflecting on the way it has affected my life, has given me a different perspective on technology and relationships. A few weeks ago I was at a restaurant and I looked around at the other table beside me, where a group of friends was eating. They were waiting for their food to come out, but none of them were speaking to each other. All four were playing around with their cell phones – one girl was even laughing at something she had read, as if she would rather be with that friend than enjoying a meal with the group she was with. It was clear that they were not living in the moment. 

The fact that in-person conversations are happening less frequently (or not at all), affects something else that most of us university students can relate to: dating life. In the last four years since I’ve been dating, I can honestly say I have never been asked out in person. The guys who have asked me out have either done it through text or instant messaging. One guy, a few months ago, asked me out over Facebook. I told him that I would go out with him, if he asked me in person. It’s safe to say that we never went out and he never asked me again. Was he really too scared to ask me in person? Is that what kind of dating life we have to look forward to?

Ladies and gentlemen, it is not “lame” to be asked out on a date properly. Telling someone to ask you out in person (or even over the phone) isn’t exactly “too much to ask”. People are hiding behind the confines of a computer or mobile device screen because it’s easier than facing rejection head-on. This might be because we feel we have better things to do, or worse, our interpersonal communication skills are so under-developed we don’t even know how to communicate face-to-face as a generation. What does this say about the future of our lives, our jobs, and our society? 

I want to make eye contact with someone, to hear the tone of their voice, to read their body language, to feel what they’re feeling as they talk to me.  None of that comes through over text and I for one think that is wrong. I say we should take a step back from all this technology, and discover who we really are behind the screen.  Then maybe we can begin to develop deeper relationships with people and be a role model for others to follow suit.  

Photo Credits:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/98556138@N04/9395228324

http://www.flickr.com/photos/xopherbrown/5621716750/sizes

• friends
• social networking
• technology