No one tells you how hard it can be to make new friends in your adulthood. Luckily, this article is here to provide some guidance on what adult friendships look like, where to start, and how to build and strengthen them.
Be Yourself
The key to making long-lasting friendships is to be yourself. If you find yourself trying hard to fit into your current circle of friends, maybe they aren’t the right fit for you… and that’s okay! Do whatever it takes to put yourself first in these times. Find who you are, embrace who you are, and you’ll find yourself making friends similar to you!
Make The time
As you grow up, you’ll start to notice that the reason why you had so many friends was because finding the time to spend with them was so easy! You either shared every class together or were neighbours who went to the same school. Now that you’re older and attending post-secondary school, the friends you make have become more intentional. You may have actively pursued friends or friend groups in-person who practice the same hobbies as you do or who have the same research interests or life goals as you. Or you tried downloading apps like Bumble BFF which helps you match with potential friends online, meet up with them, and the rest is history (kind of like online dating!). Either way, making friends is harder now, but the way around this obstacle is to find the time and make the time to prioritize your friendships. This could look like sending them Reels or TikToks that makes you think of them or planning weekly, monthly or yearly hangouts where you guys can catch-up! What goes hand-in-hand with making the time for friendships is being an active listener. The only way you can be a great friend to someone is if you’re actually hearing them when they’re speaking or confiding in you. This might be self-explanatory, but how are we supposed to be supportive of our friends and truly get to know them if we aren’t taking the necessary time to hear what they have to say, hear their side of a story, and so on?
Take initiative
Similar to what it’s like making friends these days (needing to take a leap of faith to be a stranger’s friend), taking initiative is probably the best thing you can do if you want to foster great friendships into your life. If you’re always waiting for someone to come along and ask you to be their friend, you could be waiting longer than you need to! If you think you have a lot in common with someone or want to get to know someone that interests you, the first step is to take initiative. Once you’ve found the friendships that make you feel heard, appreciated, and respected, then initiative will reflect itself in planning and attending hangouts or dates with those friends.
All in all…
Making friends isn’t as easy as it was when we were younger, but it can still be done! All you need is to check three boxes: be yourself, make the time, and take initiative!