Hooking Up at Penn

Hooking up is not a new concept, especially not in college. Whether you are a freshman or a senior, we have all either experienced it firsthand or heard stories about friends who have. Every campus has their own “hookup culture,” and Penn is no different. Here are the opinions of various women and men, who would like to remain anonymous, from Penn.

Female Freshman

What is your definition of a hookup? What does or doesn’t it include?

“Hooking up is a very general term, it can refer to anything from kissing to sex. It’s actually confusing sometimes, when a friend will tell you he or she ‘hooked up’ and you have no idea what that means.”

Do you think students at Penn view hook-ups as a casual occurrence? If so, do you consider this a bad thing?

“It really depends on the person. Of course there’s the stereotype of college ‘hookup culture,’ which definitely exists to some extent. But most people I’ve talked to are more interested in finding something more meaningful. A lot of people I know partake in casual hookups, but I know a good amount of people that don’t, and a good amount that are in relationships. Most of the people that hookup casually are still looking for something more, and the casual hookups are just a distraction, or something fun, or sometimes they’re hoping it will lead to something more. In general though, I would say hookups are not viewed as a big deal as in it doesn’t cause a stir like it usually does in high school. If one of the people involved develops feelings, then it becomes a big deal. I myself don’t view the hookup culture as a bad thing. Everyone is on their own for the first time and a lot of people are exploring sex, independence, and sometimes just interactions with the opposite gender (for those who went to single-sex schools) for the first time. People are experimenting and figuring out what they like and don’t like. I think the great part of college is that it’s a unique environment that makes it easy to have casual hookups and figure out what you want, because everyone is in the same place.”

Do you think it’s more acceptable for guys or girls to hookup at Penn, and why?

“I honestly think it’s the same for boys and girls. In high school I definitely encountered a lot of ‘slut-shaming’, and there was often a stigma if [a] girl were particularly promiscuous. In college I’ve found much less of that. Girls are less judgmental, primarily because everyone is doing it. Girls talk about hookups usually in the same way that guys do, in that a particularly wild night is more likely to garner a high five than a judgmental stare.”

What are you personally looking for this year? (i.e. a relationship, casual fun, etc.)

“I came into college fairly new to relationships and hookups in general, and with no intention of settling down right away. I knew I wanted to save sex for when I was in a relationship, but I was fully prepared to have casual hookups that didn’t go all the way. I still feel the same way, in that I know I don’t want a serious relationship, but I’m finding the random hookups a little bit exhausting and sometimes emotionally tumultuous when you get attached to the person that you hooked up with. I feel like a friends with benefits situation would be ideal. That way you’re not completely committed, but you know the other person cares about you and doesn’t just see you as a hookup.”

Do you think you fit into the hookup culture at Penn or do you feel out of place?

“I feel like I fit in pretty well with the hookup culture. I find that most girls are feeling the same way I’m feeling. Everyone’s confused and figuring things out. A lot of people enjoy hookup culture for obvious reasons, but everyone is also just seeking intimacy and wants to feel special.”

Male Freshman

What is your definition of a hook-up? What does or doesn’t it include?

“Hooking up to me is making out with another person. However, I have heard hooking up used to mean sex and other more intense things than making out.”

Do you think students at Penn view hookups as a casual occurrence? If so, do you consider this a bad thing?

“I think Penn students view hook-ups as a very casual thing. And I don’t personally have an opinion, but I do think there is a point where the amount of hookups with different people becomes a bit much.”

Do you think it’s more acceptable for guys or girls to hookup at Penn, and why?

“I don’t find either more acceptable, but I think in general people view it more acceptable for guys to hookup simply due to the whole ‘sewing your oats’ compared to a woman staying virtuous…. This is a weird one to answer, so gender bias LOL.”

What are you personally looking for this year?

“I am in a very committed long distance relationship with my girlfriend that attends Brown University. So I’m just looking for friendships.”

Do you think you fit into the hookup culture at Penn or do you feel out of place?

“I don’t fit into the hookup culture at Penn due to my previous answer, but at the same time I don’t feel out of place by any means, and some of the stories I hear are hilarious.”

Female Sophomore

What is your definition of a hookup? What does or doesn’t it include?

“I think hooking up ranges anywhere from just making out to sex. So basically, it includes everything.”

Do you think students at Penn view hookups as a casual occurrence? If so, do you consider this a bad thing?

“Penn kids view it as extremely casual. It’s sort of a bad thing because I feel that the reason behind casual hookups at Penn [is] most people claim is that they want to focus on their academics or careers or whatever, but the reality is that if you’re in a good healthy relationship, your significant other would be supportive and give you honest feedback, etc. It’s also good to talk about your feelings.”

Do you think it’s more acceptable for guys or girls to hookup at Penn, and why?

“It’s definitely more acceptable for guys to hookup with a bunch of randos because they’re being bro-y. Even when that article came out last year in the NYTimes, everyone flipped shit because the girls refused to be labeled as people who wanted only to find hookups for the purpose of their future careers. They still wanted to be seen as conservatives who wanted boyfriends, etc. Girls who do casual hookups normally keep it on the DL because if they don’t, they end up getting labeled as sluts.”

What are you personally looking for this year?

“I sorta want a relationship this year just because I’m tired of the hookup culture. I mean, it was fun freshman year for a while, but it sort of becomes meaningless. It would be nicer to be able to hookup with someone and then have like a thoughtful conversation with them the next day rather than an awkward hug in the morning and saying goodbye.”

Do you think you fit into the hookup culture at Penn or do you feel out of place?

“I don’t think I am making enough of an effort this year to be able to judge whether or not I fit in, haha. Frat parties are where usually all hookups occur, and I’ve been avoiding that scene this year, so I guess….. no? I don’t fit in, in the strictly hookup culture atm.”

Male Sophomore

What is your definition of a hookup? What does or doesn’t it include?

“Saying that you hooked up with someone is one of the most ambiguous things that anyone can ever say. I think of it as making out with someone at a party or another event. It includes anything leading up to sex but not actually having it.”

Do you think students at Penn view hookups as a casual occurrence? If so, do you consider this a bad thing?

“Yeah, I think a lot of students view hookups as a casual thing with no strings attached. I don’t think that’s a bad thing at all. With many Penn students being as busy as they are, it can be hard to maintain a relationship so hookups are a great way to have some fun as long as it is consensual.”

Do you think it’s more acceptable for guys or girls to hookup at Penn, and why?

“I think hookups are equally acceptable for both guys and girls. People don’t really seem to remember who hooked up with whom for more than a week and it’s not like high school where you may be judged based on who you hooked up with for a very long time.”

What are you personally looking for this year?

“I’m not really sure what I want this year. It would be nice to find someone who is more than a friend, but not quite a girlfriend. I know that’s asking for too much…”

Do you think you fit into the hookup culture at Penn or do you feel out of place?

“I would say in my freshman year I fit the whole hookup scene, but as a sophomore I don’t go out as much and so hookups are less frequent for me.”

Female Junior 

What is your definition of a hookup? What does or doesn’t it include?

“I feel like the definition of a hookup is loose because whenever someone says they hooked up with someone, I usually ask whether they mean they screwed. When I’m the one speaking, I would say I or someone hooked up with someone else whenever it was just a make-out session. I am comfortable enough to simply say that me and my (boyfriend at the time/now ex) screwed or still screw, and I never referred to our making love or fucking (which are two different things) as a hook-up. I feel like a hookup is like going fishing and getting a bite but not actually catching the fish. The fish always escapes in a hookup. It entails everything from making out to casual sex.”

Do you think students at Penn view hookups as a casual occurrence? If so, do you consider this a bad thing?

“For some people here, hook-ups are a casual occurrence, a quick fix. I think it’s okay. People need to de-stress and sex is a GREAT way to do that. I have wanted to be able to get involved in a hookup culture because boy oh boy, are some people here extremely attractive… I just haven’t been able to get myself comfortable with casual hookups because sex has always and probably will always mean more than just sex to me. In terms of casual make-out sessions, I find that ‘so high school.’”

Do you think it’s more acceptable for guys or girls to hookup at Penn, and why?

“I’m never surprised to hear that a frat guy hooked up with a new girl, or two girls at the same time. I AM surprised to hear that some girls do the same. Am I against it? No. MORE POWER TO THEM! As long as they’re playing it safe and using protection. I love people who are into their sexual self. I love sex. I love talking about it. And I guess I love it when other people love sex and love to talk about it too. I remember in high school when I thought it was such a skanky thing to have multiple partners, but I think we are at the age of exploration now. It’s totally acceptable as long as everyone knows there aren’t strings attached. Of course, there is always a negative stigma for girls. I don’t buy into that anymore.”

What are you personally looking for this year?

“This year, I honestly don’t know what I want. I like to have sex with one guy, and I would only do so if he weren’t screwing other people too. But I’m also not looking to be tied down. I can’t figure out exactly what I want… until I unexpectedly run into it/him.”

Do you think you fit into the hookup culture at Penn or do you feel out of place?

“I don’t fit into the hookup culture at Penn. Though my vagina might yearn for a great looking guy, my mind (and heart) would say no. Sex has to have meaning (as in I actually have to have feelings for a guy) in order for me to fully enjoy it. And boy, have I fully enjoyed it!”

Male Junior

What is your definition of a hookup? What does or doesn’t it include?

“Hooking up is anything from kissing to sex. It can include all of those, but depends on the context. What it means is usually ambiguous and varies person to person.”

Do you think students at Penn view hookups as a casual occurrence? If so, do you consider this a bad thing?

“Students at Penn do view hooking up as a casual occurrence. I do not view it as a bad thing, the culture of dating has changed over the past twenty years and it reflects that.”

Do you think it’s more acceptable for guys or girls to hookup at Penn, and why?

“It is more acceptable for guys to hookup at Penn to a certain extent. A guy who hooks up with a lot of girls will not be looked down upon; however, a girl who hooks up with a lot of guys will be. I’m not sure why this is, maybe it is because of stereotypes in society.”

What are you personally looking for this year?

“Not looking for anything specific, whatever happens.”

Do you think you fit into the hookup culture at Penn or do you feel out of place?

“I think I fit into Penn’s hookup culture. However, I do prefer the culture that used to exist that focused more on dates as a way to get to know someone as opposed to hooking up.”

Female Senior

What is your definition of a hookup? What does or doesn’t it include?

“Hookup usually means sex. Depending on the person, I might ask someone to clarify what they meant by hookup (i.e. if a conservative girl said they hooked up with someone I might be surprised and double check to make sure she didn’t mean ‘make-out’). But yeah, if someone is ‘hooking up’ with another person, then it’s most definitely having sex.”

Do you think students at Penn view hookups as a casual occurrence? If so, do you consider this a bad thing?

“Students definitely view hookups as a casual thing. I don’t think it’s a bad thing if both people see it that way, but I do think it can put people at risk of getting their feelings hurt if the parties involved were on different wavelengths. But I’ve seen a lot of romantic relationships bud out of what was initially a casual hookup, so it can definitely lead to traditional romantic dating as well.”

Do you think it’s more acceptable for guys or girls to hookup at Penn, and why?

“It’s pretty even! Thank god for all the feminists and stuff at Penn. I mean there is still a bit of a double standard. Girls who hookup with lots of guys are called slutty and guys who do it are kind of ‘the man,’ but that double standard is not nearly as strong as I’ve sensed it to be in my other social circles outside of Penn.”

What are you personally looking for this year?

“I’m looking for a relationship. That might be stupid because I’m also looking for a job and a new city, but I’m at a point where I want a consistent person to rely on and help me grow.”

Do you think you fit into the hookup culture at Penn or do you feel out of place?

“I don’t feel out of place, but I definitely don’t think I’m part of the hookup culture. I prefer knowing a person before it gets to that point and I’m careful about jeopardizing my friendships with guys just for a night of fun. And I cannot imagine waking up in a rando’s bed on campus.”

Male Senior

What is your definition of a hookup? What does or doesn’t it include?

“Hooking up in high school meant just making out and nothing more than that, but in college it has come to mean more than that in some contexts. So, my default definition remains just making out but sometimes I have to clarify.”

Do you think students at Penn view hookups as a casual occurrence? If so, do you consider this a bad thing?

“Certainly some students view hookups as casual and some take it very seriously. I assume it is the same at every other school.”

Do you think it’s more acceptable for guys or girls to hookup at Penn, and why?

“I would say the answer you are expecting is that it’s not okay for girls to be sluts but guys can hookup as much as they want. I guess that’s true for the most part, but of course it depends who’s judging.”

What are you personally looking for this year?

“Casual fun I guess.”

Do you think you fit into the hookup culture at Penn or do you feel out of place?

“I don’t feel strongly either way. Whether you are looking for a random hookup, a friend with benefits, or a strong relationship, you can find it if you look. I guess that’s the same as anywhere else.”

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