Reflecting on my childhood and college friendships this past year has given me a more meaningful perspective on my relationships. It’s made me more appreciative of the people who’ve been around me at different points in my life.
I attended a relatively small, single–sex school for the better part of my education. Naturally, being surrounded by the same 40 girls in my grade everyday for years created unique bonds and added an unmatched sense of comfort to my life. I hung out with the same few girls everyday, the teachers knew everyone on a first name basis, and — in a non-cheesy way — it provided a sense of sisterhood.
We went through every big milestone together, and I knew they would undoubtedly be my lifelong friends. As much as I loved them, I never truly realized what a gift it is to have even one or two friends that you know will be there at every step in your life — until I got to college.
I remember meeting my roommate the first day of freshman year and, although we were both anxious, we immediately hit it off; fast forward three years later, and I still live with her. I was lucky enough to become close friends with her, but I still remember almost feeling a loss of my old self since I was no longer with the few friends I felt safe around and had been around for years. It took a while for me to make the adjustment from having friends that knew me better than anyone to seemingly random acquaintances, classmates, and hallmates.
The year progressed, and I slowly made new friends, but a small void still remained; not enough time had gone by to really get to know anyone. It’s definitely something I struggled with at the beginning of my freshman year. If you’re new to college, a job, or really any chapter in your life, it’s okay to not find best friends, or even close friends, immediately.
Eventually, I became more secure in my friendships and found people I naturally clicked with. After my sophomore year, I gained a new appreciation for college friends, especially roommates, and the role they played in my life. I never thought I would have such intimate relationships with people other than my childhood friends. The benefit of college friends is that you’re all living together or near each other, and seeing each other at both your very best and your very worst.
College can be a difficult transitional time. Having a few people who are there for you no matter what — whether you’re stressfully cramming for an exam in the middle of the night or not feeling great after a bad night out — is special. Living with roommates during such a crazy time in your life allows you to get to know them on a new level.
At this point, I have both my steady, lifelong childhood friends and my newfound college friends. I’ve realized that people come into your life at different times to serve different purposes. I wouldn’t call everyone I see regularly a best friend, but we’ll always be there for each other during stressful exam weeks or difficult situations.
Meanwhile, I know that all of my home friends are simply a phone call away. However, there are also certain people from my childhood I’ve lost touch with, and that’s okay. Reflecting on my friendships has given me a new sense of appreciation for the people in my life and has taken away the pressure of having a perfect group of friends or a “best” friend.