By Katherine Yeagley
I’m not entirely sure when being exhausted and busy became the norm. I think we grew up believing that it was normal and in a very real way emulated the behaviors we saw as successful until that became our standard. I first remember viewing busy as an accomplishment when I was in high school. If someone had three tests I had to vocalize that I had four and wouldn’t be able to study for them until I was finished with cross country practice, chorus rehearsal, and student council meetings. There was something so weirdly satisfying in competing for the busiest and most overworked student. I didn’t’ think twice about staying up way too late, drinking far too much caffeine, and stretching myself in a million different directions.
Coming to Penn this remained the baseline for success. However, now there was pressure to be polished and always happy while constantly overextending yourself. A lot of people refer to this as “Penn Face” or chalk it up to the emphasis on pre-professionalism. Whatever you call it, it essentially means that it’s not ok to not be okay. It became embarrassing to admit that you had downtime or that you weren’t in fifteen different clubs. I would feel uncomfortable admitting that I had decided to take the afternoon off or that I was only taking four classes in a semester. It’s been my experience that most students feel the same way but are unsure of how to change the culture.
So we continue to put on makeup to cover our dark circles, drink excessively on weekends to “destress”, pull all-nighters to make up for the time we spent hungover, and fake being okay until we hopefully make it. I’m not sure if there is an answer or if shedding more light on the phenomena can change it but I think it’s a start. It’s okay to not be okay. More people need to know that.