Edited By: Joy Jiang
My cousin bought a new house and invited my family for dinner. My cousin, his wife, his Dad, my parents and I were enjoying a home cooked meal of spicy Indian food, while 90s Hindi songs playing in the background on TV. I felt so relaxed — it was the weekend, and I had just finished my research essay for my British Literature course.
“So, Avleen,” My uncle, my cousin’s dad, put his spoon down and looked at me. “What are you studying?”
“Professional Writing and Communication, and English at the University of Toronto,” I replied. My standard, dry, and almost lifeless reply to this question.
“English?” His tone reflected amusement and shock. “But you took science in high school, right? Then did you not get good enough marks that you made this switch to English?”
Mum and Dad stared at me, Mum’s brows furrowed and Dad’s face nodded sideways.
Keep calm dude, I thought to myself.
“I mean, you were a bright student, but what happened?” Uncle asked again.
“Nothing, I liked English too and took it. I mean, getting into U of T is not that easy. I…”
“But still, English?”
Still, English? What do you mean? You think English is easy? Reading a dozen novels per month and writing 15-page research essays is easy?
Uncle, I was the Head Girl, and Chemistry and Physics topper at my school. I took English because I love using my imagination and creating stuff of my own. I didn’t choose English because I got less marks.
I wanted to scream, but didn’t. I wanted to tell him I was still a bright student. Taking English, or any other ‘non-conventional’ courses does not mean you are not smart enough. I wanted to scream these things at him, just like I want to scream these things at other people who have asked me this question. But I didn’t.
“Yes, still English.” I replied and bit my lips.
But I felt uneasy. Why do I have to stand up for what I am studying? So many people around the world can only dream about getting basic education, and while I am getting mine from U of T, I still have to fight for what I am studying. Why do I still have to defend my program, when it too requires the same number of credits as all the other programs?
“You sure about your future? English students don’t have as bright future as engineers or doctors, you know.”
I could feel my parent’s gaze intensifying on me. They knew I could explode any second, but I kept my peace.
If there is a smaller scope for jobs and success in English, then why do we still have a Nobel Prize in Literature? Why haven’t the Man Booker Prize, and the Pulitzer Prize become extinct? If English programs do fade away in some dystopian future (one that I don’t want to be a part of), who would write scripts for movies and TV shows? Who would simplify and rewrite the dense language of scientific journals in order to make them readable by people of all ages and educational backgrounds? Or who would critique the remarks people like Donald Trump make? Who would analyse “fake news” and help write it in ways that assures people that half of their fears are complete BS?
“English has a lot of scope…” I try to speak my mind, but my uncle interrupts me, again.
“You sure?”
“Yes,” I say with such certainty in my voice that my uncle does not ask another question, or make yet another derogatory comment about my English program.
I am not the only person who is asked this question. A lot of people change their courses and programs during high school, or during their undergrad. People switch because they may find a course too hard, or another one more interesting. Some people switch because they realize the job sector for a particular field is vaster than another course they were taking previously. Some people take a variety of courses and choose throughout the years of their undergrad. Some people change their fields of study after graduation. The reasons are numerous, sometimes even financial. But to some people (who apparently have time in their lives to judge everyone else), somehow the sole reason we change our programs of study is because we got bad grades. We see so many YouTube stars who had little or no previous professional education about video editing or public speaking, and yet there they are, successfully making videos and speaking to large audiences.
Why did you choose this non-conventional program? Nobody else in our family has taken it before — will you even find a job? These questions have become a much-anticipated conversation starter at parties, dinners, or casual get-togethers. While my parents laugh it off, saying it’s not that easy, it is I who has to continue to read dozens and dozens of novels and articles, and write so many research essays. My parents can somehow steer the conversation to another topic, but I cannot. While I try to stay away from people who might potentially ask me this question, some are impossible to avoid. Some try to get answers out of me in order to create a series of gossip they can then share with more people claiming, “Avleen took English, but she was such a bright student in high school.”
For all the people out there who are bashed for doing what they love, pity the people who question your program of study. Chances are, the nay-sayers either didn’t have the resources to follow their heart’s desires, or didn’t have the courage to pursue their passions.
You are one lucky person.
