Edited by Tanmaya Ramprasad
After an abrupt end to last Spring’s semester, class is in session again, in a way that’s much different from what we may have expected. I know I’m not alone in feeling conflicted about this school year.
Though summer brought many Torontorians out of their isolation, circles expanded, and rules relaxed, COVID-19 is still present in our city. As we head into the fall, anxieties are extra high. We worry for the health and safety of ourselves and our loved ones, and it may feel like there is no one we can go to with our feelings.
This is not true; however it may feel, and however small your circle is, you are not alone.
During the depths of the pandemic, it was easy for me to fall into a state of feeling hopeless and alone. Though no one said it at the time, I later found out that pretty much all of my friends were in the same boat, paralyzed by fear and the loss of identity that unproductivity brought, without the emotional capacity to reach out and talk about it.
I think that the big feelings the pandemic has brought can snowball easily; my plan as we face a potential second wave, is to share where I’m at with my friends and family more honestly and more frequently. I’m hoping this will prevent me from internalizing everything, and having it become an overwhelming force that I will have to face all at once, down the road.
Even if it seems daunting, more often than not, you’ll be glad you reached out. Being social is a critical part of a healthy life, and now more than ever, we need the support that our loved ones offer. If you’re up for it, and feel comfortable and safe, meet in person! You can go for walks with your friends, visit parks and other outdoor spaces, and even go out for a meal together. Cuddle up under all your sweaters and blankets for a physically distanced outdoor movie night! The days are full of crisp air and sunshine; soak it up and make some good memories with the people in your life.
Another thing I find myself craving more than ever right now is physical touch. Give the people you live with, your pets, and the people in your bubble a squeeze when you can. This is something I particularly need after a day of Zoom classes. Zoom fatigue is so real! If no one’s home to hug, give yourself some love by stretching regularly. Roll your neck after hours of staring into your camera, reach down slowly and gently touch your toes to release tension in your back and shoulders. Are you carrying tension in your jaw? Pay attention to it, and let that jaw go whenever you find yourself clenching. Take walks whenever you can, and explore your neighborhood. If you are able, exercise as much as possible, in a way that makes you feel good. Gyms have reopened, but running outside, or doing exercises at home are an option as well. There are a ton of workout videos available for free on YouTube, and often, all the equipment you need is a yoga mat and your own body weight.
Things are unpredictable and whatever feelings you have, as always, are valid. During the earlier months of the pandemic, I didn’t feel good about complaining, and instead, would put up a “strong” front whenever I talked to someone. “I’m so grateful that my family is safe, I have a home to live in, and I have food to eat.” Yes, these are huge things to be grateful for! But, I’m also angry. For me, the pandemic completely screwed over the long term plans I had for my life. I lost access to my family, and lost employment for months. It’s okay to feel cheated and devastated and confused, or whatever else you’re feeling. Being upset by the literal pandemic plaguing the planet does not take away from your gratitude from the things you do have.
Treat yourself extra gently. Get dressed every day. Little by little and day by day is the only way to get through when the future is such a mystery, as it is right now.
If financial circumstances are deterring you from seeking help, you have options. Through the Studentcare app, U of T’s student healthcare plan will cover $100 per visit, for up to 15 therapy sessions. There are many therapists working around campus, both freelance and with organizations like CAMH. Physically distanced therapy might look like a zoom or phone call with a mental health worker, or even texting, through programs like Talkspace or Maple. There’s also a great online resource, Affordable Therapy Toronto, a directory of therapists in the GTA who offer their services on a sliding scale, for those who would not otherwise be able to access therapy for financial reasons.
None of us have been “perfect” during the pandemic. In March, we knew almost nothing about the virus, as numbers soared, and suddenly, essential activities, like grocery shopping, became enough to throw us into a state of panic.
Now in September, we know more. By August, we were able to reduce our numbers across the province and country. Though numbers are rising again, this time around, we know more and so do our leaders. Masks should be an important part of our daily lives, protecting ourselves and others, and showing everyone we meet that we respect them and their health.
To help these people, an important thing to keep in mind right now is the size of our social circle. If you haven’t already, now is the time to have an honest conversation with your friends and family about who else they’re seeing. It’s important as well that we steer away from shame during this time. We should all be following the rules to the absolute best of our abilities, but infections are a reality right now for many people. Essential workers, low-income families, and caregivers are all at a higher risk right now, and may not have the privileged option to stay home.
This school year, how compassionate, considerate, and committed can you be to yourself and the people in your community?