Ever wonder where men get the nerve? Whether it’s a sassy comment from your ex or criticism from a boy who hasn’t figured out the “growing up” part of life yet, sometimes it’s necessary to knock men down a couple of notches for the sake of your sanity. After all, relationships need balance, and what better way to test it than with a little humbling? Who knows, maybe today’s the day you test the waters with the boys in your life with one of these seven phrases! If they’re worth your energy, they’ll put up with it. Probably.
“Where does it go?”
Say this to a gym bro whose vocabulary doesn’t extend past telling you he gained some weight. Bonus points if you bat your eyelashes at him while simultaneously revealing your most sinister angel smile.
“It looks so cute!!”
Say this, A) to men after they get a haircut or B) to a man’s outfit after he just whined about why it takes girls soooo long to get ready.
“Hey Siri, can you explain _____?”
This line works best during the long, painful pause that fills the space between you and him after he’s just mansplained a term you were joking about not knowing.
“Does your height ever, like, bother you?”
For all the men who feel the need to point out random, innocent guys on the street saying, “I’d hate to be that short.” Here’s the thing: pointing out others’ heights to make yourself feel better isn’t a good look, kiddo. Just because 5’10” exists close enough to 6’0” doesn’t mean they’re the same thing.
“Omg, your waist is so small! I see you skinny legend!”
Say this to the most vascular man you know who thinks being able to do a push-up with you on his back is the only criteria needed to justify a giant, unforgivable ego.
“Awwwwww, look at you! All dressed up!”
Really draw this one out.
Perfect for the kind of boyfriend who gets ready 2 hours early in his jersey and face paint for the “Big Game” but shows up late to the anniversary dinner in stained sweats and a wife beater.
“I have something really important we need to talk about…” “Sorry, wrong person.”
Obviously we had to save a two-parter for the finish! For the occasions when it’s necessary for you to get this man out of your life, text him “I have something really important we need to talk about.” The longer you leave him on delivered, the better. Once the curiosity is unbearable, and you can’t stop yourself from looking, follow up with “sorry, wrong person,” to seal the deal.
While it’s important to treat your relationships with care, no one said you can’t show your claws when the occasion calls for it. So, the next time a guy tests your patience, don’t hold back on any of these lines.