Sleep is Ruining my Relationship

I am someone who usually has quite a busy schedule: full-time classes, multiple part-time jobs and extracurricular activities. I keep busy. But this semester, I decided to take a step back: to only have an 80% course load and one part-time job.

My boyfriend and I practically live together. We have our own separate places (they are both in different optimal locations so we don’t want to let go of one) and he has a roommate. But we sleep together every night and have for the past 3 years. Except when he was on a co-op for a couple months in a different city. I’ve always been so tired from my busy schedule that whenever I get the chance, I sleep. I’m the type of person who can fall asleep anywhere. On a car, plane, standing up, on the floor- literally anywhere. I learned early to utilize sleep time regardless of location. I am extremely lucky that I can do this. Some people even call it a skill. But this ability has been a total strain on my relationship.

Since I am taking it easy this semester, I sleep. A lot. Like, whenever I get in bed I fall right to sleep and have no idea how quickly I’ve fallen asleep. My boyfriend and I will cuddle in bed and watch YouTube videos and I’ll fall asleep almost immediately. I’m not trying to, but it just happens. He wants to go out or have a date but even just studying on the bed, I fall asleep. Doing homework on the floor, I fall asleep.

I eat good, nutrient rich, energy-packed food. I exercise regularly (and intend to exercise more). When I asked my doctor what’s up, he just said I’m stressed and I sleep to combat that. But I don’t want that. I’m sleeping 12+ hours a day and I can’t stop it. It frustrates my boyfriend immensely because he loves cuddling but we can’t do it for more than 20 minutes without me nodding off.

I wake up and immediately apologize and feel so bad because I’ve fallen asleep right before a date night he’s planned, and he even tries to wake me up but I never remember. He feels bad. He thinks “she must be exhausted” and just lets me sleep. But I know he gets upset about it- or he gets disappointed at least. We fight about it sometimes. But I don’t know why it happens, and even when I try to keep myself busy, one way or another I’ll manage to pass out.

I think this is why I’ve liked keeping a busy schedule all these years. Because it keeps me out of the house and moving. As soon as I’m home, my brain automatically thinks “time to sleep”. All I can do is apologize to my boyfriend. If I make myself busier, it’ll limit our time together but it’ll keep me awake longer. He is taking a full course load and he begins class before me and ends after me so he isn’t there to combat me falling asleep before it happens.

We are both frustrated and upset with no resolution. Is this a condition? Has anyone experienced this before? I don’t have much of a social life and never really desired it, so I don’t want to combat it with that. I want to be productive again. I’ve started exercising more, and it makes me more tired but I’m hoping that slowly increasing the intervals will bring back some energy. This seems like such a petty problem to vent about, that I sleep TOO much, but it’s frustrating. My boyfriend and I don’t fight often but we will get upset about my sleeping issue. Maybe my body is recovering from the years of torture when I would only sleep 2-4 hours a night in my teens (I took extra classes and was part of 8 extracurricular activities, and also worked and cared for my family). But I’m 22 now. It’s been awhile since I stressed my body out that much. I will continue to do my best to stay awake and do more activities with my boyfriend and stay on campus for longer hours. If we come home together after our days, that should hopefully counteract my sleepiness.

Have you ever had this problem before? Let me know how you solved it or if it’s been a continuous battle.

• lifestyle
• love
• relationship
• sleep