Mikayla, this is for you. It will be a good idea to have tissues nearby as you read this.
Everyone else—please take notes.
“I actually have something kind of big to tell you… I’ll graduate with my psychology degree in May but I’m going to go audition for theater productions for a year afterward.”
After watching you flourish in your art from high school on into college, I was glowing on the other end of the phone. My best friend is going to go relentlessly chase what makes her feel most alive, finally. After going back and forth these past four years between what you’re passionate about and what you know you can make a living with. You chose theater and in that moment, I couldn’t have been prouder.
We hung up the phone and later that night, I laid in my bed thinking about what you had said. “I’d rather fail at what I love.” I soon began to think, “Who was I to continue submitting graduate school applications to a program, that I and my resume had proven I was good at, but I wasn’t totally in love with, while simultaneously thinking, ‘Yes! Finally, she chose theater—what she really loves?’ Eventually, I rolled over and drifted back to sleep.
A few weeks later, it was happenstance that an upcoming event at work needed an emcee for a shadow cast of your absolute favorite musical. The minute it was mentioned that we were having troubles finding someone, a split second later I was on the phone with you. Within minutes, we locked in your first hired performance. You would be on the road to Laramie for this gig a few weeks later.
Fast forward and you were here, rehearsing for the show and meeting the team I work with. Of course between prep work, heart-to-heart discussions only came with the territory as we live five hours apart. Naturally, the big decision you had just made quickly became a topic of conversation in the midst of catching up. As you spoke, your eyes lit up more than the fake gunfire outside the restaurant for the Halloween ghost tours. You quoted Jim Carrey who spoke of his father, who also had comedic talent but became an accountant because it was ‘the safe choice.’ Carrey’s father eventually had lost his job and the opportunity to pursue comedy fell by the wayside for him and that was part of the rationale as to why you made “fail at what you love,” your new life motto. I followed that conversation up by saying, “I’ve been thinking about becoming a writer.”
In the blink of an eye, the weekend flew by and you were on your way back to Kearney. We said our goodbyes and you began the drive home. That afternoon, I started researching ways to change my master’s program application from “Higher Education and Student Affairs,” what I knew I would be good at, to what I had hoped to be since I was young, a writer and photographer.
That following Monday, I was on the phone with each school I had applied to changing the application statuses to “Public Communication and Technology” a program that would allow me to do what had always intrigued me and made me feel most alive. I had never pursued it because the past four years, during my undergrad, I was studying business because I knew I was good at it and it was a practical choice.
Then time really flew—the leaves had completely fallen off trees, snow storms made their winter debut, Thanksgiving and Christmas came and went; graduate school applications were submitted; 2017 arrived and I had landed in the streets of Berlin and Krakow for a Holocaust Remembrance service trip. Of course, with a topic matter like this, the group I travelled with became incredibly close and the purpose of life was on the forefront of everyone’s mind.
As we walked the streets, en route to a Holocaust Remembrance site, alongside the bustle of the city streets I heard, “I don’t really like math or science, but I’m pursuing Nursing because its practical and I’ll get a job.” Faster than the city train we had just missed trying to reach our next destination, I spun around and from 4,000 miles away, Mikayla came out of my mouth and I said, “Sweetheart, nothing is guaranteed. You have to work your ass off and hope for the best. In the meantime, fail at something you love.”
She looked at me stunned and as we spoke more, the thought of working for a magazine someday made her eyes light up, the same way yours did, when you said you were pursuing what you loved and were most passionate about five months prior. It’s stunning the way that passion becomes a universal language.
Soon, I arrived back on American soil, those application deadlines passed and acceptance letters rolled in. You went with me on my first graduate school tour and were there when I balled my eyes out when the letter I wanted most, hit my Gmail inbox. I made my decision of which program I wanted and where I wanted to go to school most. We spoke on the phone again for our regular catch up session, where CSU was the news. I filled you in on the details and you said, “Channing Faith, you’re an inspiration.”
I smiled, silent on the other end of the phone flattered and thinking, “It’s you that’s the inspiration, because I wouldn’t be where I am, sharing this news, without hesitation of what’s next, if not for your courage, bravery and relentless support.” I couldn’t say it on the phone that day, so I’m getting it out the only way I know how.
So, Happy Graduation, Mik. Let’s go practice our arts now, without regret.
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