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Often times, you hear that people are either introverted or extroverted. I would label myself as an extroverted introvert, if that makes sense. Basically, I am very excitable around my strong groups of friends and sometimes new people. In big crowds, however, I feel like I am drowning in sociability and I have to escape.
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In other words, I get drained when I am around a lot of people I don’t know for a long period of time. I’m good at making friends, but I can get very claustrophobic about certain situations. For instance, I go to a lot of bars for karaoke. Once the bar starts to get packed where it’s hard to move around, it’s time for me to go. I get the fear that if something happens, I might not be able to escape because of all the people.
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When I am all peopled out from karaoke or classes, I like to stay by myself in my room for a while and just enjoy being alone. I don’t have anyone relying on me to make plans, I don’t have to worry about socializing, and I can do what I want. A lot of the time, I catch up on homework, do my diamond painting, or just relax while watching Netflix or Youtube. I can stay inside, safely away from anymore socialization.
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I think that a lot of my friends and family get scared for me. They’re nervous that I spend a lot of time in my room, on my own, and that I’m depressed. That couldn’t be further from the truth. I think we all should be comfortable being alone and by ourselves from time to time. One day, there may be a day when we are truly alone. How do you cope with that if you’ve always only been surrounded by parties, people, and noise?
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In my opinion, much of my indifference with being alone comes from my childhood. I only really had a few very close best friends, like maybe 3. I was often teased as being weird or larger than the other kids. I kept to myself a lot as a kid, because then, no one could degrade me or tell me what to do. I was in my own little world and it was peaceful.
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My solace also comes from being outside and around the wilderness. Going hunting is a very humbling and soul searching experience. Being vulnerable outside makes you come to terms with who you are and if you can be at peace with yourself. I believe I have truly come into my own by being okay with being alone.
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Do not ever be afraid to take a day for yourself. Sleep in, watch movies, make food, and just enjoy yourself. Being alone doesn’t mean you are lonesome.