As a brown girl, my experience with colorism has sort of been inevitable and, at this point, seems almost natural. Tanning is basically like social suicide.Â
As someone who has traveled from South Asia to Canada, I’ve changed in more than one way.
I found my skin brightening to almost two shades lighter due to the frustratingly lower amount of sunshine during the winter months.
I soon discovered that I almost matched the Neutral shade of the Kosas Concealer.
It felt like I won.
Then, I returned home over the summer.Â
Living on an island meant that weekend beach trips were a routine, a norm. Naturally, I wanted to enjoy the pristine blue ocean and golden beaches before I was exiled to sunsets at UBC’s own nude beach for the entirety of next year.
And, of course, like most good things, this pursuit of beach weekends came at a cost and I had to pay with my rather expensive Sephora products. In other words, my concealers no longer match my skin tone.
Of course, these relatively minuscule problems don’t end here; once considered the “fairest of them all” in my family, the fear of tanning has distorted how I perceive my self-image.
Returning to Vancouver and looking into a mirror and seeing the unforgiving tan lines was quite rough, to say the least. It’s not a social environmental thing, but rather something inside me that caused a feeling of losing.
It’s only been over the past few weeks that I have realized the true impact of colorist media.
And it’s not just “western propaganda” that we deal with. It’s also South Asian media. From the “Fair and Lovely” ads to the bleached skin of actresses in Bollywood movies.
It’s in our homes. From the “gentle” reminders about how our skin color may have changed to the complications families face with arranged marriages if their daughters are ever so slightly tinted.Â
It’s everywhere.
So, it’s only natural to have this fear of getting tanned. And it’s only natural to begin hating your reflection when the world is already rigged against you…right?
This is unacceptable to me.
But how does this cycle end?
Start to ignore the insults disguised as compliments from aunties at weddings.
Perhaps just laugh and move on after noticing how your foundation will likely not match after a beach holiday.
Embrace, love, and nourish your golden caramel skin.
This starts with you.