Sometimes you find yourself loudly singing Jason Derulo in a frozen yogurt shop. Maybe this doesn’t happen to most people, but it happened to me, and it sparked a disturbing personal revelation. I am an accidental sexist.
Nearly a year ago, the controversy surrounding Robin Thicke’s single “Blurred Lines” caused us all to wonder whether or not the subject of taking advantage of women could be deemed appropriate for radio. When accompanied by a Pharrell-produced beat and an adorable baby goat (?), it would appear that the resounding answer was yes, save for a couple reactionary YouTube videos and Thought Catalog articles. Despite widespread feminist rage surrounding the songs “rapey-vibe,” it still played on the radio incessantly, won multiple awards, and was the number one most requested song by drunk girls at bars last summer.
If I’m being honest, I was one of those drunk girls requesting that song. It’s really catchy. And that is the problem. These songs are often impossible not to dance to, or at least hum along to on the radio. That’s why it can be so jarring when you find yourself singing a lyric like “she says she won’t, but I bet she will”, courtesy of Pitbull and Kesha’s “Timber”. We are often so distracted by the fun and playful nature of these songs, that it becomes difficult to take a step back and consider their implications. Jason Derulo’s latest single “Talk Dirty” is a perfect example. What a fun song! What a funky trumpet solo! Lest we forget that behind that trumpet is a song primarily about taking advantage of women who can’t speak English. In his video there is literally a woman with an ambiguous foreign accent giggling and saying “Jason, I don’t understand!” What? How did I miss this?
Lyrics put forth by Derulo and his peers may not intend to reinforce patriarchy and make women feel like meaningless sex objects. In fact, their main objective is probably to make a boatload of money. However, it doesn’t change the fact that sexist lyrics make their way into mainstream music on such a regular basis that we almost don’t notice anymore. The message becomes subliminal, and thus silently reinforces a culture in which women’s singular value is their sexuality.
This is a difficult topic for me, because I happen to enjoy a lot of music that exploits women. I listen mainly to hip-hop, a genre of music where the exploitation of women appears frequently. However it is often difficult to imagine how change could occur when the subjects of these songs have taken on a normality so deep-seated that nobody, not even women themselves, seem to question it. Listening to Jay-Z’s “Picasso Baby” in which he spouts the lyric “I want a wife to f**k me like a prostitute” makes me wonder, would we still listen to this song if the lyric was “I want a wife who I can make love to respectfully?” Probably not, because, and I’m saying this as a feminist, that just sounds pathetic. At the end of the day, though many of us try our darndest to be ‘good feminists’, we seem to be increasingly attracted to music that is provocative, or even at times offensive.
The only problem is, the controversy never seems to manifest in the reverse, that is, women disrespecting men. Besides J-Lo’s recent attempt to make a video in which men are the ones being exploited in “I Luh Yah Papi”, (see: J-Lo pouring a tequila shot down a man’s Speedo), it seems that the exploitation of women in pop music is so integrated that any sort of attempt at an overhaul seems, dare I say it, unnatural (see: J-Lo pouring a tequila shot down a man’s Speedo.)
I have no idea what the solution to this problem is. I have sincere doubt that if I stop singing along to Pitbull in my car, patriarchy will cease. However, that doesn’t make me anymore comfortable with how he chooses to sing about booties constantly. Perhaps the answer is that there needs to be a wider societal effort to acknowledge everyday acts of sexism before a reflection of these changes can be seen on MTV. Perhaps we should trust one another to understand the ignorance and stupidity that lies behind these songs, even if we do find ourselves dancing to them while sampling fro-yo.
Think before you bust it out, ladies.