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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UC Berkeley chapter.

Recently, I forgot to return something I had borrowed from a friend. I told them that I’d return it the next day, and they said it was no issue at all. When I approached them, though, I became nervous. They’re frustrated with me, and they’re thinking that they won’t let me borrow from them anymore, I thought. They didn’t act like it was a big deal, so why was I stuck on the idea that they were angry at me?

I later found out from a professional that what I was doing — assuming I could tell how someone feels without them telling me — is one of the most common cognitive distortions, called “mind reading.”  

woman sitting alone looking out window
Photo by Anthony Tran from Unsplash

You might be thinking, don’t people do this all the time? Isn’t it common to pick up on social cues and read what’s been unsaid in a situation? Yes, that’s true, but mind reading is often excessive, like assuming how a person feels over a single isolated incident that easily could have been coincidental. Also, even if many people mind read, that doesn’t mean it isn’t a detrimental behavior — just a common one.

I am not a mental health professional in any way, but I wanted to bring awareness to this issue because while it is very common, people might be unaware they are doing it. Being able to identify negative thoughts as cognitive distortions is an important skill that can hopefully help you resolve harmful thinking patterns.

Pixaby

For example, have you ever assumed that your friend doesn’t want to talk to you anymore or feels annoyed by you simply based on the fact that they took more than 30 minutes to respond to your text? Or maybe you were a little late to a meetup and thought that everyone there resented you for the rest of the day? These can be examples of mind reading.

If you’re interested in learning more and stopping these behaviors, there are many resources online (just be aware of misinformation and be sure to use reputable sources). Also, if you’re a UC Berkeley student, you can always try to set up an appointment with college mental health professionals through eTang!

Freshman in EECS at UC Berkeley
Melody A. Chang

UC Berkeley '19

As a senior undergraduate, I seek out all opportunities that expand my horizons, with the aim of developing professionally and deepening my vision of how I can positively impact the world around me. While most of my career aims revolve around healthcare and medicine, I enjoy producing content that is informative, engaging, and motivating.  In the past few years, I have immersed myself in the health field through working at a private surgical clinic, refining my skills as a research assistant in both wet-lab and clinical settings, shadowing surgeons in a hospital abroad, serving different communities with health-oriented nonprofits, and currently, exploring the pharmaceutical industry through an internship in clinical operations.  Career goals aside, I place my whole mind and soul in everything that I pursue whether that be interacting with patients in hospice, consistently improving in fitness PR’s, tutoring children in piano, or engaging my creativity through the arts. Given all the individuals that I have yet to learn from and all the opportunities that I have yet to encounter in this journey, I recognize that I have much room and capacity for growth. Her Campus is a platform that challenges me to consistently engage with my community and to simultaneously cultivate self-expression.