Massive bowls of crab, hefty artichokes, and an abundance of bread — these are the main culinary features of many of my favorite Thanksgiving week memories. For my family, the meal that takes place on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving is just as sacred as the traditional holiday dinner. Our festivities begin by gathering for a casual Tuesday night meal, followed the next day by a seafood smorgasbord, then the turkeyfest, and finally a Friday full of leftovers.
I don’t quite remember the exact story of how our tradition started, but the short version I understand is that many years ago my mom flew in for Thanksgiving with my grandma, and they were extremely hungry that Wednesday night, ending up at a seafood restaurant. Because they enjoyed the food so much, it carried into our routines every November. Often, the “Crabs-giving” meal is smaller than actual Thanksgiving, with just my close family and our family friends whom my grandma would stay with over the break, due to her allergy to our cats, who are an integral part of our extended family. It’s always been a time to connect and share stories and laughs.
As us children of the families have grown older, these quirky traditions have occupied an even bigger place in my heart (even though I don’t eat the meat that is served). We’re currently scattered around the globe: one of us living it up studying abroad in Rome, one possibly opting out of Thanksgiving for seasonal work at REI, and one recently engaged, coming home to the holiday with her fiancé’s entire family. Young adult life has meant constant adjustments, perhaps one of the biggest being our first November without any living grandparents joining us to eat.
Change is extremely difficult, but so important for personal evolution. As I navigate the tumultuous existence of being a college student, I count on small moments shared over this holiday week — board games, old comedy films, and botched Thanksgiving plays — and memories of those that came before to help me cope. Even aside from that limited time, I know I can hop on a FaceTime call with any of my Thanksgiving family to be reminded of the goodness and connection in the world.
Navigation of new eras, a break from the chaos of current life, and returning to my roots; these are the values I’m hoping to take from my family’s unique celebrations. What are you taking from yours?