I remember moving into my dorm and playing an unofficial game of speed dating, trying to introduce myself to everyone on my floor and the seven others in my building. Not once did I bump into who’d become my best friend.
A few days into GBO (Golden Bear Orientation), I mingled with as many people as possible because I heard orientation would make or break my college friendships. I believed I’d spoken to everyone in my group, at least those who appeared to want a conversation with me — besides an exceptional few.
Walking down Telegraph Avenue on a journey to Crossroads dining hall, I saw someone whose shirt I vividly remembered complimenting, which got returned with an unenthusiastic “Thanks.” After that underwhelming encounter, I decided she definitely wasn’t going to be part of the magical friend group I thought up.
Little did I know my short stroll down to the dining hall would be the start of a friendship that I couldn’t ever envision my life without.
There are so many examples of iconic female duos portrayed on television: Monica and Rachel from Friends or Blaire and Serena from Gossip Girl. I always wanted a friendship where it felt like I’d be incomplete without my other half. Luckily, my wish came true!
Considering my best friend is every bit the exceptional person she is, she shortened her time in college by half, expediting her graduation date by two years. At 19-years-old, my best friend is graduating from the No. 1 public university in the world, leaving me to question how my last two years without her will be possible.
At the end of our first year of college, we knew that only half of our time together was left. Deciding that we’d become roommates, we shared an apartment for her second and last year of college. I wonder why I thought one year would be long enough to prepare me for the spring semester to end — for our time together to reach an end.
No one prepared me for the day she’d try on her graduation dress with her stole around her neck and her cap and gown out on her bed. No one told me that the days where we spent hours cackling like hyenas would soon be far and few in between. No one mentioned how much it’d hurt sitting together, watching Criminal Minds while eating dinner, knowing that the number of days we had left was getting smaller and smaller.
As commencement approaches, I struggle more and more each day to accept the fact that my best friend, someone I’ve known for only two years but who became an extension of me, won’t be there in the morning for our daily RSF (Recreational Sports Facility) session; she won’t be going on our weekly Trader Joe’s runs anymore, or coming next door to make me feel better after every minor inconvenience.
The truth is, I’m not coping at all. Whenever I think about my life next semester without her to come home to, my heart breaks a little more.
Having an experience of the female friendship I deeply yearned for, but having such a short deadline feels like I somehow got robbed. The saying is true: you never appreciate what you have until it’s gone.
I know our friendship isn’t ending, but the privilege of having her there whenever I need her is. It’s something I didn’t think would get taken away from me so quickly.
My only peace of mind is knowing she’ll accomplish whatever she sets her eyes on and that I can support her from wherever I am.
Once commencement comes, maybe I can accept the changes awaiting us, but for now, I’ll continue cherishing every moment together as if it’s our last.