“Since I was 15, I’ve either been with a guy or breaking up with a guy– I have not given myself two weeks of a breather to just deal with, you know, myself,” – Elizabeth Gilbert.
You know that moment when you wake up, your body aches, and before your eyes even fully open, you remember you’re going through a breakup? Yep, that’s been me—more times than I’d like to admit. My biggest fear has always been falling in love, getting married young, doing the whole granite countertop, white-picket-fence routine in my 30s, and then having a mid-life epiphany: “This is not for me.” I’d rather admit I walked through the wrong door than spend my life in the wrong room. That said, heartbreak? Still a serious bummer.
Cue the summer after high school (that’s a Katy Perry reference) when I had three months of epic trips lined up: one with friends, one with my mom, and one solo—a little beacon of hope shining through my dying finals week. By sheer coincidence, it turned into my very own Eat, Pray, Love journey. The punchline? I only realized it when I was on my flight back, watching the movie on the plane. Like Liz, the main character, I’d been finding my identity in other people, especially in romantic relationships. I never really paused to figure out what I wanted, jumping from one relationship to the next. Being alone with my thoughts? Terrifying. If any of this sounds painfully familiar, this article is for you.
Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love strikes a chord in many because, let’s face it, who hasn’t dreamed of dropping everything, moving to a villa in Tuscany, or at least escaping the daily grind of writing essays? Her journey reminds us of that moment when we finally throw our hands up and say, “That’s it! I’m over it—I’m changing my life!”
For those unfamiliar with the story, here’s a summary: Liz Gilbert (played by Julia Roberts in the film adaptation) seemingly has it all—a husband, a house, a career—but feels an ache for something more. Her turning point came after a late-night sob-fest on the bathroom floor, where a prayer with the universe led her to a new path. Of course, things didn’t magically improve right away (spoiler: they got worse), but that moment was pivotal to her adventure, thanks to a book advance. She devises a plan to dive headfirst out of her comfort zone, exploring the world and its many cultures to find her way to connect with God. This ambitious journey kicks off with a rather turbulent, drawn-out divorce, followed by a year-long itinerary of self-discovery: 4 months savoring pasta and pizza in Italy (the eating phase– the art of pleasure), 4 months meditating in an Indian ashram (the praying phase– the art of devotion), and finally, 4 months in Bali (the “loving” phase– the art of balancing the two). She learns fast that a true journey calls for flexibility and an open mind. Not a bad twist of fate, right?
Europe
“This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something.”― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love.
In Italy, Elizabeth grapples with depression and loneliness, finding comfort in eating as a partial remedy for her body and soul. She gains weight, but when she catches her reflection, she sees a healthier, happier friend looking back—renewed in mind, spirit, and body, thanks to the warm-hearted Italians and the beauty of Italy itself. I felt the same way strolling around the country, enjoying much-needed quality mother-daughter time.
America
“I think I deserve something beautiful.”― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love.
From getting my tarot cards read to going to therapy, I truly started to take time to contemplate the trajectory of my life thus far and began to understand myself as an individual more. By doing so, I stopped overthinking any past mistakes.
Bali
“People in Bali understand in order to stay happy, you must always know where you are every moment. Right here is the perfect balance. Right at the meeting of heaven and earth. Not too much of God. Not too much selfish. Otherwise, life too crazy. You lose balance, you lose power…” — Ketut, Eat, Pray, Love
Ketut’s advice truly meant a lot: balance is essential. There shouldn’t be too much focus on one thing in the world. In other words, whatever we do, we should avoid overindulgence. You can be deeply spiritual and committed to prayer, but that doesn’t mean you need to pursue a religious career. Likewise, immersing yourself entirely in worldly matters won’t lead to peace.
In my homeland, with waves crashing below me and a surfboard in hand, I finally grasped a truth often misunderstood: many believe that travel will make you feel special, yet it often does the opposite. You come face to face with the reality of your smallness, realizing that you, your worries, thoughts, and opinions barely register in the grand scheme of things—and that is precisely what makes the experience enriching. I found a profound peace in understanding just how tiny I am in the vastness of it all, that a breakup is just a passing moment, hardly something to waste away over.
There’s a certain comfort in sticking with the familiar—even if the “familiar” happens to be downright miserable. But if it all goes up in flames? Well, that could just be the spark needed for some growth. Sure, we can’t control the world or other people’s questionable decisions. But we can steer our thoughts, and that’s where the real magic happens. Forgiving yourself? That’s your ticket to learning, growing, and becoming the person you always could be. So believe in love again—the kind that’s been sitting quietly inside you. Most importantly, Eat, Pray, Love taught me that a balanced life isn’t just a quick adjustment; it is a daily devotion, discipline, gratitude, and divine help. Balance occurs when you welcome God in and show thanks every day. So, do we need a meltdown to motivate us? Why do we wait until we’re practically clinging to the last straw before we decide it’s time to make a move?
Through the book and movie, Gilbert slowly grows into a peaceful state, a transformation that brings to mind my early days of solace, binge-watching Sex and the City for comfort. Stories like these truly resonate because they mirror pieces of our own.
Although I get the criticism for the book and movie as they, in some cases, bog self-actualization down to external gratification as well as use the East as a landscape, turning local culture and people into mere props in the main character’s self-reflection and how this is a setup that many voluntourists replicate: traveling abroad to “make a difference,” often through organizations more concerned with providing feel-good experiences for tourists than with the actual needs of the local community. Likewise, going on spiritual and religious retreats without understanding their deep roots can be neglectful. The heart of the story is not about the privilege to embark on an Eat, Pray, Love journey but about the true courage required to turn your life around completely and embrace authenticity.
EPL also, perhaps unintentionally, offers a window into the mind of a woman entangled in the allure of Orientalism and self-help spirituality. Her limited awareness of how her actions resonate within a broader cultural and social context reveals much about the influences of her upbringing and the era she inhabits, encouraging us, as readers, to think more critically. As for me, I came to understand during my travels that this tranquil respite was only temporary; my journey is far from complete, and I know I’ll face heartbreaks again and again until I make a resolute, transformative change in my life.
And if you do choose to travel, just be mindful of the histories and lives behind what you encounter. Here’s a little local wisdom– the journey to self-discovery doesn’t require a plane ticket. No matter where you go, you cannot outrun yourself.