Togas, Blood Rituals, Mean Girls, and Goats?
Oddly enough many people assume that if you join Greek Life these things would be the main source of your experience. For me I will have to agree that at first, I was a pretty big skeptic of Greek Life. To me, I stayed in my biased ways and just believed what I wanted to because of how others portrayed it out to be. As a Black woman, I have thought sororities to be discriminatory and exclusive. At UCI, I soon learned that I would be accepted but I had doubts due to racist pasts for other schools and their Greek Life.
Unless you were living under a rock in August, Tiktok was filled with “Albama Rush,” this coining the sorority rush process for women at schools in Albama. Each Tiktok was filled with upperclass, white girls and there seemed to be no one of color in sight. This all came to head when the only Black member was blacklisted for just holding a red solo cup in one of her Instagram pictures. Soon after that the president of their school’s Alpha Phi, was seen in a groupchat using racial slurs. This made me even more skeptical of the rush process. I felt as though I wouldn’t be accepted and it would be too hard to make “real” friends. As a feminist, I thought that I was going against my morals by joining (as some might say) a “superficial cult.” Looking back at my thought process, I see how anti-feminist I was being. I was allowing myself to make preconceived notions about people that I have never met before.You might be thinking, what made me change my mind?
Now this is to say, in this article I am only addressing my experience with sororities and I stand with the women that have the strength to speak out against some actions made by fraternities.
During my first quarters at UCI, I felt a mixture of emotions. I was so glad to be learning, joining clubs, and making new friends but I had a feeling that something was missing. My mind would keep going back and forth on what that missing piece might be, but I couldn’t seem to figure it out until my Winter Quarter. I realized that I needed a support system of strong, powerful people that I can turn to and have even after graduation. This meant going against my prior notions and starting to do research into sorority life and what it might be like for me.
Due to the fact that the pandemic was raging on and our events were online, this came as somewhat of a challenge. I had to do some deep digging to find what might be the best fit for me. Unfortunately, I had to wait until the Spring Quarter to get the true experience but I do believe as I write this article it was the prominent decision overall. My goal was simple, that no matter what I try out sorority life and go to the in-person events that were being held when the Spring Quarter starts. This meant that there was no backing out and I can’t make excuses to stay within my metaphorical zone of comfort.
So, there I was starting up at the Kappa Alpha Theta house, not having a clue what might come next. Since I needed a little push, I enlisted one of my friends to go through the rush process with me. What was special about my rush process is that I did a type of recruitment called Continuous open bidding (COB). Essentially, instead of us having to go to every single house, we get to choose which events we go to. This provides for a lower-stakes and more calm process, which is exactly what I needed.
Back to me: staring up at the house in awe and nerves. After a couple of minutes of my stomach churning, I decided to take that leap of faith. We walked through the door and were automatically greeted with nothing but kindness and excitement. The prior notions I had about sororities were slowly starting to slip away. We then got to meet many of the sisters, and all of them were so nice. I went home that night angry at myself for letting my judgment cloud my thinking. Throughout the week I kept going back and I knew in my heart that Theta was the house for me. All the girls were kind, smart, and I could tell that they actually cared about me. I never felt as though it was all a show or an act to lead me on. The thing that struck me was the girls would remember who I was and smile whenever I walked into the house. I felt recognized and cherished.
After the final COB event, it was time to say goodbye and hope for the best. It really showed me that no matter what, I did something out of the ordinary for me — and it is a win in my book. The day after the final rush event, I received a call as I was leaving my lecture saying that I received a bid to join the Kappa Alpha Theta sorority. No questions asked, I accepted with joy. This started my process to become a true Theta sister.
Now, this is not to say that this process is all fairy tales. It can be really scary and there will be some challenges along the way but the thing to always remember is that there are people in your corner. All the sisters support you and make sure that you continuously feel comfortable, safe, and accepted. Their main goal is to make sure that you feel a part of the family. From what I have experienced thus far, I know that to be true.
My overarching message and takeaway is to not let prior judgements cloud great experiences for you. It is up to you what you decide to make of yourself, so why not explore the unfamiliar? See where it takes you. I know this can be easier said than done but it gave me a bunch of new sisters. I know this journey will be a roller coaster of ups and downs but as long as I try to be positive and have these sisters in my corner, I can hope to enjoy the ride.