For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a fangirl.
Although the term is a bit outdated considering that not many people use it anymore, it is the only word that comes to mind. Whether it be a book series I just discovered, a movie I have loved forever, or a music group that I listened to by chance, I have always taken pride in my interests.
I first became a fangirl when I discovered the Harry Potter series. At the age of nineteen, I can confidently say that I never left my Harry Potter phase. Whether I say that with pride or embarrassment is still a mystery to many, including myself. I was coerced into reading the Harry Potter books at a young age by my mother, who thought that books that weighed over five pounds would somehow miraculously increase my reading comprehension (which, to her delight, actually happened). I had a brief spell while reading the fourth book, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, where I had to stop reading due to recurring nightmares of Death Eaters chasing me in the forest for three nights. Nevertheless, I remained hooked and continued reading.
To this day, I read for escapism. I love to read books that completely suck you in, especially during the school year. My love for reading reignited my first year of college when I discovered the novel Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo, a fantasy tale filled with epic heists and the beloved found family trope. I quickly became obsessed with the world she created, reading all of the books in the duology and their predecessor series — Shadow and Bone. At the time when my obsession was at its peak, the Netflix adaptation of the books was released, which was all I could talk about for months. To this day, Six of Crows is one of my favorite books of all time and I am due for a re-read.
Recently, I have slowly started to navigate the world of K-Pop. I had been a casual listener for a while, but a good friend of mine completely transformed me into a fan. I found myself enamored with glitzy and glamorous girl groups such as BLACKPINK, Twice, and ITZY, and boy groups like BTS, with killer choreography and concepts that elevated the songs they were singing. I fell down the rabbit hole soon after, going as far as to start collecting photo cards of my favorite members from the groups I listened to. In a matter of months, my informal listening turned into a full-blown obsession, one that has not diminished one bit.
Growing up, I never felt the need to hide my interests. However, as I entered young adulthood, I was expected to leave my interests behind. When talking about my interests with people, I would get the occasional “Oh, you’re still into that?” remark, which was disheartening to hear. I soon realized that if something as harmless as liking a movie franchise makes you happy, then take pride in it. To this day, I still have Harry Potter posters and memorabilia in my room right next to my favorite K-Pop albums and my collector’s edition of Six of Crows. Liking specific books, movies, and music makes me happy, and I shouldn’t have to explain myself to anyone.
So, I’m done feeling ashamed of being a fangirl. And whoever you are out there, if you like something that people would consider “weird” or “nerdy,” take pride in it and don’t feel ashamed either.