On June 17th, 1997, famous talk show host Oprah Winfrey sat down with security specialist Gavin DeBecker to discuss his latest book: The Gift of Fear. As The New York Times best-selling book on violence, it is a God-sent guide to the countless ways in which fear and intuition work in harmony to keep women safe from predators. 

DeBecker recounted one of the first miraculous stories featured in his book: a woman named Kelly, who managed to flee from the man about to murder her. Oprah responded while she held the book firmly in her hands, “This book could save your life.” The camera then panned to the female audience, stunned by what they’d just heard. 

Over a decade later, the principles outlined in this book remain as relevant as ever. Though reading this book in its entirety is a MUST, here are five of the most focal points to consider: 

1) Anxiety and fear are NOT the same 

True fear is quite different from anxiety and worry, which build up over time. Fear presents itself in a very rapid signal that any organism is never meant to reject or suppress. 

2) Beware of the typecaster

Typecasting is understood as a mild insult that the targeted person is inclined to prove untrue: “You’re probably too snobby to give a guy a ride.” It’s a way of getting the girl to engage. The defense for typecasting is acting as though you haven’t heard it. As opposed to overthinking, Am I a snob? , let it go over your head. 

3) Don’t fall for forced teaming 

Forced teaming is making someone feel like they’re in the same circumstance as you, to initiate a sort of false camaraderie between the predator and the target. A simple example could be the predator who plans to follow the target home “We’re both going in this direction, so let’s walk together.” In reality, it is a ruse to rapidly gain the target’s trust. 

4) NO is a complete sentence

“No” is a response on its own, there is no need for reason. Don’t be afraid of being seen as “rude.” DeBecker stresses that “I have never in my entire career encountered a criminal attack that occurred because a woman was rude.” He encourages women not to give into pestering and persuasion, because “When a man says no, it’s the end of a discussion. When a woman says no, it’s the beginning of a negotiation.” 

5) Trouble lies in too many details

Dishonest predators will add many details when trying to deceive someone. The irony lies in the fact that, although what they’re saying may sound credible to their target, it doesn’t sound credible to them. So they keep talking. A simple defense for this is remembering the context of your situation: you’re somewhere with someone you don’t know, and they’re trying to expedite your trust. 

I love binge-reading Spencer Reid fanfics as much as the next girl, but there comes a time when books like these are the ones that have your back. Besides, it is so awe-inspiring, you are bound to finish it in no time. Swing by your local college library and check it out for yourself. Your gift awaits you. 

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• college women
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• the gift of fear