I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I am officially in my senior year of college. All the never-ending tests and assignments seemed so grueling. Now as I complete my last fall quarter as an undergrad, it seems like it’s all gone by in the blink of an eye. I vividly remember being a nervous wreck as I moved into my freshman dorm. Nowadays, things have completely changed as I independently navigate college during an ongoing pandemic. As graduation inches closer and closer, I am very excited. To be completely honest, I’m absolutely terrified too. I’m scared of the future and all the uncertainty that comes with it. It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that at the end of the school year, I’ll be separated from friends and stripped of the academic identity that I have been cultivating for four years. If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me about my plans after college, I could pay the rest of my tuition.
A common phenomenon among seniors is that we are all feeling immense pressure to have our lives figured out. I will openly admit that I don’t know exactly what I’m doing and that’s okay. Before I cause us all to have an existential crisis, I want to remind my fellow seniors that our fear is valid, but we shouldn’t let it consume us. Firsthand, I know that this is easier said than done. Currently, I am testing out various ways to cope with this dilemma. As cheesy as it sounds, I am doing my best to live in the present. I’m making the most of the time that I have left in college. One thing I learned this quarter is to trust the process and living with this motto has made this quarter my favorite so far. This time is all about figuring out who we are and who we want to become. We do not need to have all the answers now. For once, there is no strict deadline.
In an effort to maximize my time, I have committed to many responsibilities. Sometimes it feels as if I am majoring in overthinking and minoring in perfectionism. Overcommitting is glorified in college but it can be unhealthy. Your roles should allow you to grow personally and professionally. However, finding a balance while not completely losing my sanity has been a process of trial and error. We shouldn’t have to choose between our responsibilities and our well-being. We are worthy of rest, especially during senior year when our senioritis is in full force.
This year, I’ve been pushing myself to step outside my comfort zone and say yes to adventures. As a self-proclaimed introvert, this is no small feat. I constantly remind myself that as a senior, I may never get these opportunities again. This has become my new version of YOLO. It’s best to minimize regret while respecting our boundaries. We all dealt with the fear of missing out. This quarter alone, I’ve met people that I wish I knew earlier but I’m grateful for the time we have together now. I’m a part of spaces that I truly feel seen in. I am going to cling to these feelings of love and appreciation while I can and I suggest that you do too. I refuse to live vicariously through the Instagram stories of others. So seniors, if you’re looking for a sign to try those new foods, go on late-night adventures, go to events or take a self-care day, this is it! Not to be dramatic, but it’s now or never.
More than ever, I am stepping into my power. Throughout my undergraduate career, I feel like I have constantly doubted myself and my capabilities. This negative cycle of imposter syndrome ends here and now. I have achieved things that I never imagined I would and have grown into a better person in the process. Seniors, reflect on your accomplishments, no matter how big or small. Being a college student is not easy. Making it through it each day is an accomplishment.
Seniors, our anxieties don’t inform our futures. We will find a job, we will get into that school, and we will achieve those goals that we have set for ourselves. It’s not a matter of if, but when. It may not be easy, but we will all find our places. We don’t have to just sit and watch as the sand goes through the hourglass. Yes, time is fleeting, but if we had all the time in the world then we would waste it. If you have no plan at all, it is okay. Being scared of the future is a universal feeling, but we can intentionally channel that fear into something productive. It’s inevitable that after college we will have to move on. Being accustomed to change is part of growing up. Yet, there’s beauty in the unknown because having hope for the future can give you a sense of purpose. Our capabilities have no limits and the possibilities are endless. This fills me with excitement about what could be. It’s the end of an era, but it’s the start of a better one.