The Thin Line Between Self-Care and Self-Sabotage

In this article, we will be going over what self-care is, its benefits, the thin line between self-care and self-sabotage and how to find a balance. 

Self-care is a beautiful gift to you from yourself. It is taking time to be with the most fantastic person in your life, yourself. This can range from “treating yourself” to an expensive gift to taking a shower and lighting a candle. Self-care can mean different things to different people. 

There are benefits to practicing self-care, you are giving yourself permission to relax. Your mental and emotional well-being can improve. It is not selfish to do, it is an act of self-love. 

Separate yourself from the busy day-to-day life. Let me be honest, with the world today your space is not separated with boundaries instead it is more like a blur of a non-stop list of responsibilities and obligations. 

The benefit of self-care is giving you time to enjoy yourself. You deserve it. 

Now with that being said let’s talk about self-sabotage, let’s think of self-sabotage as self-care’s evil twin. 

This is when you are subconsciously or consciously going out of your way to not do your tasks to reach your goals, or overworking avoiding your needs. This leads to future problems down the line that will only increase over time. 

Self-sabotage occurs for many different reasons. One may lack confidence, the fear of success and fear failure. Individuals can be buying a lot of expensive items and going over the budget or walking for a long period of time to avoid something. Or it can be that the individual is putting off a break after break ignoring and keeping “grinding” but that can lead to burnout and leave you mentally drained. 

What needs to be acknowledge that nothing is ever guaranteed and we will not always be in control of the situation. 

How do you know if it is self-care or self-sabotage?

You will need to ask yourselves critical questions and answers honestly. 

1. Why are you doing this?

2. Are you avoiding something?

3. Why are you avoiding it?

4. Do you need help? If so in what? 

5. If you do not do anything to change this what will this look like in 3 weeks, 3 months, or a year?

6. Are there any long-term benefits of continuing these habits? 

7. Is this affecting anyone else?

Another tip is that you can create a plan on how to overcome this by asking these questions: 

1. What is your current strategy to overcome this?

2. Anything you would like to implement, like a reward for your effort? 

3. What is your overall goal? 

4. What is the support you need? (Emotional support, a schedule)

After answering the questions, you need discipline and to be held accountable. Set a schedule and a limit, for instance, you will only buy one expensive item a month within your budget. Or take an hour walk, no more no less. What we lack is what we gain with self-care. What you can do is to find a balance that allows you to do self-care, not self-sabotage. 

Overall with self-care, you will achieve your dreams.    

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