Real honesty time: When I started my first year of college, I was scared, shy and frustrated. I was scared because everything was new and I would be away from all my siblings for and extended period of time. I had totally forgotten that I could be shy because I am a natural extrovert and in high school I knew most everyone from middle school so there was never a moment where I didn’t know at least one person. I came to college and was shocked that I found it so hard to talk to the people living in my dorm- it took me eight weeks (I know, terrible) to get to a place where I could say some of the people in my hall were my friends! And finally I was frustrated because I had did not know what I wanted to do with my life and I had imagined what college would be like and this was not it. That was because of the first two problems I mentioned: I was scared to try new things and I had a hard time making friends.
I can now say, after two years, that my college experience has improved immensely and I can go as far as saying I enjoy it a large portion of the time. Of course there are still times that I feel scared or shy or frustrated, but I want to share with you how I combat those feelings now so you don’t need to learn the hard way (well, you still might, but that’s okay too) and you can minimize the “freshmen funk.”
Making friends is hard, but being without friends is harder. The most simple way to make new friends is to smile and introduce yourself. That is also very hard for some people to do, that is why I suggest starting with the people in your dorm and whoever sits next to you in class because you already have something in common with them so it won’t feel random.
Saying how you feel out loud works actual magic. My mom told me to do this when I was feeling particularly stressed about a presentation or art critique that I was having, and let me tell you, it works wonders. Saying “jeez I feel nervous” with a chuckle puts everything out in the open and makes the room feel lighter. You can literally feel the nerves calm down. I have found that this technique also works when I am shoved into a new environment where I don’t know anyone and I have to approach new people as well as when I am feeling overwhelmed with work, school, the future, etc. on my own. Simply acknowledging your feelings is the first step to feeling better.
Try everything because you could find your next big thing. I decided to join clubs straight off the bat my freshmen year and that was the best thing I could have done for myself. Clubs are an easy way to meet people with similar interests. Clubs are also good for trying things that you aren’t sure if you will like or not, you could find a new passion. I know I did. I found out I liked writing through Her Campus. I chased that to another organization and then into an intro to literary journalism class that UCI offers (spoiler alert: it was great) and I found out that I adore writing when I am storytelling. This led to adding a double major and I couldn’t be more pleased about it. Bottom line: if I never tried anything new, I would have never found my new passion. So, try everything.
Everyone is in the same boat. Wait no. Everyone is in the same ocean but you are each on a boat in a fleet. That’s better. It is good to keep in mind that everyone is trying to figure out what they want to do with there life and is feeling some level of stress. As freshmen, everyone is dumped into this new environment and unless you show up to college with your entire squad from high school, everyone has to make new friends. That being said, everyone is going to have a different college experience. If you start comparing yourself to someone else’s, you will always end up crabby about it. All that matters is that you are happy about the experience you are having. If you are not, all you can do is change what you are doing and the choices that you are making. College is what you make it.
Let change happen, find new cheese. I tend to get frustrated when things change if I liked the way they were before. I have since improved because of endless practice. Let me tell you, change happens before college, during college, and definitely will after college. There is no escaping it. Moving with the change is the only option. My aunt showed me this story called “Who Moved My Cheese?” written by Dr. Spencer Johnson. Basically, it is about mice and little people and their goal in life is to have cheese. They end up finding cheese and then the cheese disappears and they need to find new cheese. Each character represents a different way of handling change, some more productive than others. The cheese is representing an aspect or goal of life. This story seems silly, but now when I hit bumps in the road I think “who moved my cheese?” and “it’s time to find new cheese,” and that helps me laugh and move from frustration to problem solving.
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