Recently, I was sitting in Starbucks when Hailey Steinfeld’s song “Most Girls” came on. While I initially heard just the two title words repeated in the chorus, I expected to be irritated. Great, another song talking about how the singer is super unique and quirky and special because she reads and doesn’t wear makeup and how every other girl in the world is shallow and stupid because they care about how they look. However, I was pleasantly surprised by how refreshing this song was. It was such a breath of fresh air to hear a song embracing all kinds of girls—girls that enjoy wearing makeup, going out, and partying, girls that enjoy staying in and reading, and all kinds of girls in between. But it got me thinking: Why is there a trend where girls try to “brag” about how they’re not like other girls? For example, scrolling through Tumblr and Instagram, I’ve come across pictures like these countless times:
Like, what? Let’s dissect these images for a second.
Let’s start with the first one, because I have a lot to say about it. First of all, all of the girls apart from the one with the “error” message look exactly the same. They all have the same hair; the same toned body with large, perky breasts; short, revealing clothes; and they are all applying a form of makeup to their face. The “error” girl has no makeup on; short, choppy hair; and she is reading a book. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out the picture’s implication: if you wear makeup and care about your appearance, obviously your only quality is superficiality and you do not care about education, or really anything other than your appearance. You also completely lack any sort of individuality because obviously all women that care about their appearance look exactly the same. You are a shallow, vapid sheep with no substance in a sea of sheep that look and act exactly like you. All of those girls are staring blankly ahead, suggesting that they do not think and essentially act like robots.
Meanwhile, the girl with the “error” message is dressed more conservatively and is reading. Although the word “error” has a negative tone, to me that word is much more of a humblebrag than anything else; as if the author is explicitly saying, “I am inferior and there is something wrong with me because I don’t properly fit the qualities required to be considered an attractive girl,” but implicitly, through tone, you can tell what she actually means to say is, “I am special and superior because unlike other girls, I am different because I actually read books rather than spend all my time applying pigments to my face.”
Like, do you not think that girls who wear makeup also read? Women are multidimensional, people! This picture supports the misogynistic idea that women are one-dimensional creatures – it’s either beauty or brains, you can’t have both. That idea is completely inaccurate. I have so many beautiful friends who are incredibly smart, creative, and curious about the world around them. For example, one of my friends is ridiculously pretty and also has such an interesting fascination with nature. She helps me see the world in ways I’ve never seen it before, with the way she points out unique features of trees or the way she watches little birds hopping around. My freshman year roommate was a crazy partier, and also a literal model, and still somehow managed to get her homework done on time and get great grades to boot. I honestly don’t know how she did it, but she managed. She is so sharp and clever and I love it.
If you take another look at the first picture, the other girls without the “error” mark all have a barcode on them. That makes me physically nauseous. They are calling these girls PRODUCTS. Why? Because they wear makeup and crop tops and have long hair. That is disgusting beyond words. So not only is the “artist” of this image saying that all of these girls are the same and have no individuality, they’re also saying saying that these girls are THINGS. They’re OBJECTIFYING these girls. That’s another HUGE problem with society. If they see a girl that’s stereotypically feminine and cares about her appearance, they’ll objectify her (not only in the sense that they’ll paint her to be nothing but a sexual object, but also that they’ll see her as nothing more than her appearance). She’s essentially a Barbie doll to them. All exterior, no interior, and easily replaceable.
Also, the second and third picture are so odd to me. I know so many girls that love sci-fi movies. And every single girl out there deserves respect in any kind of relationship, whether romantic, platonic, or professional (provided she is respectful as well).
Of course, I should say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with not adhering to traditional standards of femininity. If you prefer going bare-faced, awesome! Show off that beautiful skin, girl! If you enjoy reading, that’s great! If you don’t like dressing up, rock your sweats. If you prefer staying in, that is a-ok too. It’s a great idea to take some time to get in tune with yourself. And if anybody tries to make you feel bad about not being a glammed-up party girl, don’t even give them a second thought because you’re beautiful and smart and valid as long as you’re doing you, girl.
My point is directed toward the girls that bash others that conform to more stereotypically feminine interests. There is nothing wrong with not being traditionally feminine, but there is something wrong with having a superiority complex for not being traditionally feminine because femininity is not a bad thing at all.
Whenever I log onto social media, I see so many posts similar to those above from women trying to distance themselves and other girls. And honestly, I get it. I’ve been there, I mean, five years ago I probably would have been posting the exact same pictures until I learned how toxic and inaccurate that mindset is. I understand that it’s the result of society painting femininity as bad and as inferior, and these girls are trying to distance themselves from that negative image of femininity, but the way to do that isn’t to distance yourself from other girls; the right way to approach the issue is by understanding that there is nothing wrong with femininity, and to help spread the idea so well articulated in Hailey Steinfeld’s song: that girls are wonderful, unique, and amazing regardless of their appearance or interests.