Living with friends can be both an amazing college experience that you’ll cherish forever and a complete nightmare. Constantly being surrounded by your closest friends is fun, yet factors such as shared bills, getting the rent together by a certain date, a sink full of dishes and no one admitting to being the culprit who never replaces the toilet roll can cause some waves.
Having lived in over 7 different homes my past three years of college, I’ve had plenty of roommates and experienced plenty of drama. I am currently living with six other people, only two of whom I know names of, and it’s beginning to feel a bit like I’m on the Real World, minus the hot tub and camera crew capturing my morning hair. I’ve lived with close friends, complete strangers, people who like to party and others who rather spend their entire time living virtual lives.To make the most out of living with your roommates this school year and possibly maintain the friendships once the lease expires, read on for my 9 tips to ensure you have a drama free experience.Â
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1. House Meetings
House meetings are awkward, even when you are living with your closest of friends. A house meeting being called usually means that someone is mad about something, which leads to another person feeling attacked. To avoid this from happening, have a house meeting at a set time every month or two, regardless if anyone has anything to complain about. And most important of all, if you have something that is bothering you, say it! Nothing leads to a blow up more than holding something in for too long. It’s better to just be honest about it and prevent an unnecessary argument later.Â
2. Avoid Post Its and All Other Types of Notes…Sticky or NotÂ
Nothing good ever came from a post it note. We’ve all seen that episode of Sex and the City where Berger breaks up with Carrie- on a post it! Post its are for homework reminders, appointment times and marking pages on books, not to tell your lazy roommate to clean up her mess. Most of the time when you’re writing your seemingly harmless paper reminder, you are most likely irrated, which can come off in a note. (There is such as thing as excessive underlining and one too many exclamation marks.) Instead, cool down and tell them face to face. Yes it’s awkward, yes it’s probably not the first time you’ve had to tell them, but it will be worth avoiding an awkward cold war later.Â
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3. Dishes End Friendships
Through my years of living with tons of different roommates and visiting friend’s homes, the number one thing people complain about are dirty dishes. It’s as if we’ve all turned into our mothers! Who knew we’d be in our early 20s and having full on conversations/one person arguments about how inconsiderate it was that she didnt wash her mug yesterday morning? The horrible part is, we don’t even do them ourselves! Didn’t The Break Up teach us anything other than that not all movies have a happy ending? Nobody wants to want to do the dishes!! Dishes can make or break living with your friends. Avoid the drama and just do your dishes after you’ve finished your meal. If you are truly busy don’t pile them in the sink, instead keep the dirty dish in your room until you have time.Â
4. Invest in Headphones
Not everyone shares my love for Taylor Swift and day long marathons of Storage Wars. If you share a bedroom with someone, headphones are the first thing that should be on your shopping list. Come midterms and finals time, your roommate will most likely be overwhelmed, sleepy and/or in a bad mood. Headphones are great to watch your streamed movies, listen to music or video chat without disturbing your neighbor. You don’t have to wear them constantly, but they’re great to have when you and your roommate are on different wavelengths.Â
5. Be Social
If you live in an apartment or house with multiple people, get to know the people living under the same roof! Most likely you know who you’re living with, but if you for some reason are roommed with random people, get to know them. Give everyone a chance, nothing is more awkward than cooking dinner next to someone every night who you know absolutely nothing about. I’m not saying you all have to become best friends, but ask them about their day, say ‘hello’ when you walk in, make some type of conversation. If it turns out you can stand them or vice versa(it does happen), at least you tried. Nothing sucks more than not being invited to that midnight run to McDonalds, but don’t be surprised if you’re left out if you never make an effort yourself.Â
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6. Skip the Gossip
I have one rule for talking about my friends, which I do often, don’t say anything you wouldn’t say straight to their face. Half of my comments are about how stupid a decision they made is, how annoying they are for not messaging me back, or some kind of seemingly trivial thing. In reality, I’m that brutally honest friend that every girl needs. I will gladly be that person to tell you that your freshmen 15 makes you look fat, not the dress you’re trying on. Don’t gossip or talk about a roommate unless youre ready to fess up to it. More often than not you’re all friends in your house/apartment, they will hear about what you said. Keep your angry comments to yourself because most likely you can’t trust anyone you live with to the point where they wont pass along the message.Â
7. Start a Tradition
Leaving home for college can be hard, especially if it’s your first year. Being away from family during holidays and birthdays can weigh on some collegiates, which is why creating your own home away from home is a great idea. Traditions between you and your roommates will not only make your time together more memorable, it will bring you closer and keep tension low. Weekly dinners, frozen yogurt dates or movie nights are a great way to have fun together as a group and keep you from taking fights too far. You should strive for more than getting along with your roommates, try to build meaningful friendships while you’re together!
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8. Heads Ups Are Appreciated
My second year in college I lived in a house with three other people. We were all generally close and most of us had guests from time to time. It was never much of an issue with anyone, except for the fact that it was a bit embarrasing to have a roommate’s boyfriend come over while I was on the couch picking Cheetoh crumbs out of my shirt while my other roommate was cooking in her sports bra. This was normal for those of us living in the house, but when meeting new people, you generally want to be fully clothed and not have your hand down your top. Sending a simple warning text to your roomies that strangers will be walking through the door soon is a great way to avoid these awkward moments. .
9. Food is Sacred
I cannot count the number of times I’ve turned as crazy as a guest on the Maury show. The reason: someone had the nerve to eat my frozen dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets. Food is sacred. While I’m great at sharing food with friends, if I just met you, hands off before I publicly shame you in front of the rest of the housemates. (Too far?) Rule number one of being a good roommate, don’t eat someone’s food, drink their juice, or assume it’s okay to finish the rest of their leftovers. Nothing is worse than waking up to finish the rest of your pizza only to find out someone else got to it first. (True story.)Â