Declining Thanksgiving Invites is Self-Care

Every year, I usually partake in two Thanksgivings. I have appetizers and dinner with my dad’s side of the family, and later in the evening, I drive to have yet another dinner with my mom’s side of the family. I don’t love the holiday, but I do enjoy events that get all of my family members under one roof to spend time together and share a meal. But this year, not only is it dangerous to partake in large family gatherings, it’s also impossible for a lot of students who aren’t able to travel due to COVID restrictions. Spending the holidays away from your family and your favorite cousins is terrible, but experiencing stress and anxiety because you feel obligated to show up to your family’s Thanksgiving festivities is bad as well.

COVID-19 anxiety is very real, and it’s especially prevalent among teens and young adults. This comes as no surprise; young people have experienced several collective losses over the past nine months. As a college student, I’ve moved out of my apartment, I’m missing out on my senior year, I’ve lost precious time with my friends, and I’ve missed out on academic and extracurricular opportunities. This is not an uncommon experience. All of this loss has caused me to spend an excessive amount of time on my phone, where I am bombarded by detrimental COVID-19 statistics, tragic stories about the loss of strangers’ family members, and panic-inducing statements from powerful political figures. Now a lot of us, myself included, are terrified to leave our houses, and we’re expected to join in a family gathering as if the world was normal.

So yes, setting boundaries and declining your family’s Thanksgiving invitation is a form of self-care. Not only are you protecting your body and immune system from catching a deadly virus, but you’re guarding your mental health as well. It can be nerve-racking, but the best thing you could do is take initiative and start a conversation with your family. Make sure they are informed about the dangers of large gatherings, and that they know what the CDC recommendations are. If your state has a curfew in place, use that as a reason why it’s not smart to have a get-together. If not, suggest some fun alternatives and make it apparent that you are declining the invite because you love them and value their health. Suggest an outdoor, social distance friendly activity like a family hike or a Thanksgiving potluck. If your family is into football, schedule a Zoom call so that you can all watch the game together. Whatever solution works best for you, the most important thing is that you prioritize caring for your mind and body.

• covid
• culture
• holidays
• thanksgiving