My favorite movie of all time is the iconic rom-com He’s Just Not That Into You, and while this is for several reasons, the main one is its side story with Ben and Gigi. When I first watched this movie at the age of 13, I didn’t understand it fully at the time, but the ending of Gigi becoming not the rule, but the exception, was such a turnaround in the film. I recently rewatched the movie and began to think about Ben’s advice to his future romantic partner, “If a guy is treating you like he doesn’t give a sh*t, he genuinely doesn’t give a sh*t.” It then made me think this rom-com was filmed in 2009, so what would these rules look like now? Let’s go through the most prevalent ones.
1. If He’s Interested, He’ll Call.
In 2024, social media is the most prevalent form of communication. People don’t often call anymore, but are more likely to text. The conversation could be going well, and both parties might seem interested, but the key sign of someone becoming uninterested is ghosting you completely. The other party will no longer send texts, reels, or share TikToks. All communication is cut. The only exception could be if they realize how vital your presence is to them, and they’ll get in contact again. However, most of the time, they no longer feel inclined to see where the relationship will go because they no longer care for it.
2. Frequent Activity on Your Social Media
I say that stalking your crush’s post is very common. The scary part is accidentally liking a very old post of theirs. But, hearting stories with photos of yourself or recent posts could be a sign of interest. Frequent hearts could mean that they want to have a conversation with you, or they want you to know that they like what you see. However, with dating in 2024, most are often too nervous to actually let the person know.
3. Often Mentioning Places They Want to Go
If you mention dating spots and they smile, saying that it sounds fun but then they still don’t take you out, they aren’t interested. Frequently bringing up going to the movies or “hanging out” at places that are meant more for dates is a clear sign that they would want to go there. Using words like ‘hang-out’ makes it less intimidating, and could do the trick to skip the awkwardness of asking someone out, but if they don’t bring up your suggestion to you again, being with the person isn’t going to happen.
4. ‘Hanging-Out’ Often but Not Mentioning the R-word
Let’s say that you are out with your crush often, and it seems like you are dating, but neither of you have cleared the air by saying that you are, it looks like you got yourself in a situationship. I can see how this problem could arise, because no one wants to ask what’s going on with the fear of the other denying the potential relationship forming. In these times, fear conquers all, so important conversations aren’t always brought up. If your crush doesn’t tell you that you’re in a relationship, then they aren’t that interested.
5. Only Contacting You at The Late Hours of The Night
If your crush is messaging you past 10, it’s not good. They may be interested but not similar to what you’re feeling. Yes, they’re contacting you, but not for the right reasons. They could contact you at any time. Why past 10? If this is happening to you, run away and do not respond.
The 5 main rules I could gather from watching the film and applying them now are if he’s interested, he’ll call, frequent activity on your posts, mentioning dating locations, not mentioning the R-word when hanging out often, and contacting you past 10. As Ben said in the first 20 minutes of my favorite film, if a guy acts like he doesn’t care about you, he doesn’t. The best advice that I learned was to speak up and not wait on them. The worst that can happen is they aren’t interested, but we only live once, so move on and find the next potential partner.