It’s been nearly a decade since singer-songwriter Taylor Swift dated Jake Gyllenhaal, having only dated him for 3 months from October 2010. At this point, most people my age were in their early adolescent years, myself only being 8 when this hit the news. I can remember when this relationship was announced to the world, and as a young girl, I don’t think I truly understood it and everything that it entailed. Mayhaps it was because I didn’t understand what an age gap was at that time, or really why a relationship was such big news in the media, I can’t say that 8-year old me knew the gravity of this situation.
Taylor recently released her short film for her song “All Too Well,” which was written based on her relationship with Gyllenhaal, starring Dylan O’Brien playing Gyllenhaal and Sink playing a younger Taylor, and I have many thoughts, more than 8-year old me could have understood when the relationship occurred. Following this will just be some major topics that I picked up from the short film.
Understanding the Age Gap Between Them When they officially announced to the world that they were dating, Taylor Swift was 20 and Jake Gyllenhaal was 29. In the short film, younger Taylor, Sadie Sink, embodies the age that Taylor was when she was dating him, and it felt weird to watch Dylan O’Brien and her kiss for almost 10 minutes. It felt almost illegal watching them interact and play their parts as a loving couple. I never realized how big the age gap for Taylor and Jake truly was, but seeing it in this film was like a smack to the face. Entertainment has normalized large age gaps, and while they aren’t bad 100% of the time, the possibility of grooming is high.
Taylor goes on to show how difficult it was being with someone who is an adult, barely getting out of her teen years, showing a scene of her hanging out with his friends, who are all drinking, and Taylor only being 20 is not legally allowed to. I thought this scene was so thought-provoking, as it shows she felt belittled and that she found it hard fitting into his world.
His Gaslighting
In the scene I mentioned in the last point, Sadie (young Taylor) goes on to say how small she felt hanging out with Dylan’s (Jake) friends and how he made no effort to make her feel like she belonged, even going as far as not holding her hand when she reached out for him. Later, when they argue about it, he tells her that she’s being dramatic and makes her feel invalidated in her feelings. Watching this, made my heartache, as not being able to fit in is already painful, and then to be told that you shouldn’t be feeling that way, worsens the situation. I feel bad for Sadie who did amazing in portraying the emotions of a young woman whose heart was broken and Taylor Swift, who went through these situations.
Him Continuing to Date Young Women
Taylor has a line that says, “And I was never good at telling jokes but the punch line goes I’ll get older but your lovers stay my age.” This line was like rubbing salt in a wound, as the entirety of the song focuses on how their age gap became and was a sole issue in their relationship. Gyllenhaal has only continued to date younger women, and so him having broken up with Taylor due to their age gap being an issue seems redundant.
I can feel the frustration and hurt from her in this line, as it has become one of the most well-known lines from the song. If their age gap was a breaking point, why does he keep dating younger women? And I know that we don’t know the exact details and what led to them breaking up, but seeing as the heaviest theme in “All Too Well” is their age gap being an issue.
The Symbolism of the Red Scarf
The theories behind the meaning of the red scarf from the film only add more mystery to what went down in their relationship. It is said in the song, that he kept the scarf, her having left it in the scarf. “I walked through the door with you the air was cold but something about it felt like home somehow and I left my scarf there at your sister’s house and you’ve still got it in your drawer even now” Theories have sprouted on what the red scarf truly stands for, as his sister does not know what scarf she is talking about. It is entirely a possibility that the scarf is not a physical one, but is a symbol for something else and this mystery only fuels the Taylor Swift fandom to dive deep into hunting down what it means.
The entirety of this video not only made me feel uncomfortable due to the age gap but also sad due to the obvious mistreatment that Taylor felt during that relationship and how hard it was for her even after the relationship had ended.