I’m all for the first amendment and freedom of expression, but sometimes while scrolling through my Instagram news feed I wonder just why exactly someone would justify a blurry drunk selfie by liking it. Maybe I’m a jerk or just maybe I’m a good enough friend to instantly text you to let you know your last post was a mistake. I do know one thing, I’m not alone in judging you! I got the idea for this article from a guy friend of mine(yes, I’m talking about you Victor, thanks for the inspiration).
Somehow our conversation trailed off to a distant place, where we went from talking about music recommendations to the annoying things ex-girlfriends post on social media. That’s how the best articles are thought up, organically, without having to be forced and brainstormed for hours. When I first started wirting it was limited to the annoying things ex-girlfriends post on social media, but midway I figured why not open the flood gates and include all women!? Don’t get me wrong, you have the right to post whatever you like on social media sites, but don’t be delusional and think people want to see a selfie of you every single day. I surveyed a handful of college aged men and asked them one question, “What are the most annoying things a girl can post on social media?” Here are their brutally honest answers…
1. Ninety nine percent of your posts are quotes from Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn or some brilliant author whose books you’ve never read.
2. Saying over generalizations such as ‘how all guys are jerks’ and ‘nobody knows how to treat you right.’ Bonus annoying points if your boyfriend is still following you, not only are you saying he never treated you right but you also just labeled every other guy not worth dating.
3. There are two types of selfie offenders. There’s the girl who posts a selfie every single day, using the hashtag #shamelessselfie. And there’s the girl who takes 20 photos in one day who then proceeds to post them throughout the week. Changing the filter doesn’t also change your hair, makeup and outfit!
4. Giant photo albums that document all the irrelevant moments of your life. Less is more.
5. Outfit of the days. Just another thing guys just don’t understand.
6. SMDA: Social Media Displays of Affection. Having a boyfriend is great, especially when you’re still in that honeymoon stage where he has yet to see you without a full face of makeup. But guys, and girls, under no circumstances want to see that selfie of the two of you kissing. It’s gross, stop now please.
7. Photos that are begging for attention, the wrong kind. A guy that was surveyed made an interesting point. “Why is it socially unacceptable to glance at a girl’s breasts while talking to her but then the same girl turns around and posts a selfie where the camera was angled at just the right spot to show the maximum amount of boob? Do you want us to look at them or not?!”
8. Overly affectionate friends. “Girls who blow up Facebook saying ‘I miss you,’ ‘Come home, I’m lonely without you,’ or making a big deal out of random nights out. We get it, you guys are totally best friends forever. Save that love for private messages, no one cares.”
9. Sloppy post party photos. “They’re never a good idea and a big turn off if I was digging you.”
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10. Trying too hard to fit in. “We can tell when girls are just trying to fit in with their friends. It’s easy to spot the girl who isn’t wearing her own dress at the club.”
11. Photos that are way too edited. Blurring, four different filters, decals followed by an “all natural” hashtag.
12. Instagramming over five times a day, bonus annoying points if it’s all about the same event. One guy said, “I get it. You’re at a formal. Your first picture told me so.”
13. “Girls who try too hard to be a guys ‘ideal’ girl. I see you, girl. Trying all hard and shiiizzz. No. Stahp. Now.” Do I even need to add to this?
14. Using your Tumblr to constantly talk about how big of a foodie you are, how you love to eat, and then going out and only ordering small fries. Liar.
15. Any and all workout selfies. We get it, you’re taking advantage of that university gym membership.
16. Passive aggressive posts, save those for private messages.
17. Constantly updating your relationship status…
18. Unnaturally posing for photos. “[Photos where girls] have their head tilted up. What’s up with that?” (It’s so we look skinnier, young grasshopper.)
19. Posting a photo of how ugly you look, really?!
20. “Man crush Monday! I don’t need my f*ckin mobile data wasted to download pictures of guys that are way more attractive than me!”