Last April, Netflix dropped the third season of Indian Matchmaking, a reality TV show which provides a glimpse into the process of arranged marriages. More specifically, this show follows India’s most famous matchmaker, Sima Taparia who is also known by both her clients and the audience as “Sima Aunty,” and her journey to find the right partners for her elusive clients.
In Season 3, we are introduced to five different people who Sima Aunty has the challenge of finding partners for. We have Priya, a divorcee who no longer believes in love, Rupali, a model who wants a man that will be ok with her being a “mama’s girl,” Vikash, a doctor who just can’t find the right person to match his way too long wishlist, Arti, a who just wants a man that will fit her lifestyle and take her out on Costco dates, and Pavneet, a woman wants someone who she can look up to, literally.
We also get some time in Season 3 on previous contestants who Sima Aunty has helped matched up in the past, Viral and Shital, both who were on the second season of Indian matchmaking.
Now, as someone who has been a loyal hate watcher of this show Season One, there are many elements in this new season that have always been around since the beginning, but continue to irk me. Some of these things include Sima Aunty’s disregard for her client’s preferences: one example of this includes Sima still setting Priya up with men that were not her type after she explicitly stated what she wanted her man to be like, both in the looks department and personality-wise. Another thing is Sima Aunty’s constant urging of her clients to simply “compromise” for the sake of getting married, in fact one of her catchphrases is literally that “You can only have 60% percent of what you actually want.” Moreover, Sima Aunty will often provide her female clients with fewer options and will often tell them that they are picky and need to settle, whereas with her male clients she will often coddle them and provide them with as many matches as they wish.
However, there were many new elements in this season that simply just made me a lot more aware of some of the large “undercurrents” of the Indian community that I have never really realized just how much they affect the dating culture. First was the attitude that Sima had towards age: she often lamented on the difficulties of finding matches for her older clients and even matched them with partners 10 years younger than them even after these same clients displayed dismay for being in age gap relationships. The second was the fact that divorce remains a large stigma in our communities, especially when it comes to finding new relationships.
Ultimately, this is the main reason why every time, I constantly come back to this show even despite the outlandishness of it all. Indian Matchmaking has been called out for reinforcing age-old prejudices and exoticing many elements of South Asian dating and marriage culture, and I agree with these sentiments for the most part.
But, I appreciate what this show unintentionally spotlights, and opens up conversations about. Before Indian Matchmaking, I do not think I could have ever talked to my family, at least casually about dating and the problems that I have with many of the expectations that my community lays out with dating. However, now I watch this show often with my mother and we have animated conversations about these things. I also have conversations with friends too about the issues that this show unintentionally brings up.
So, despite all the problems, and though it was not the original intention of the show, I appreciate how this show puts a lens on many of the issues of the Indian dating community, and I hope that the show continues to draw attention to these issues.