It’s halfway through January and right about now you’re probably just getting ready to give up on your New Year’s resolutions. Maybe you’re reading this article because you want motivation to keep going; someone to tell you that you can do it. Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I say quit. New year’s resolutions are so 2012. New year, new me? What a load of BS.
Let’s take it back to the beginning. The first people on record setting new year’s resolutions are the Babylonians in 1894 BC. Which means, we’ve been setting these unrealistic goals for nearly 4000 years now. Maybe that worked back then and these ancient civilizations really did complete and stick to their resolutions. But in this day and age, it’s just simply not realistic.
Every year, I hear so many people set crazy specific goals that are simply way too hard to maintain. They want to start going to the gym three times a week, they want to go keto, they want to save a quarter of their salary every month, they want to hang out with their friends twice a month, and the list goes on and on. But ask them on February 1st if they’ve stuck with that goal and most of them will look away in shame.
So why don’t these goals stick? Why doesn’t anyone actually accomplish their new year’s resolutions? Well, if you ask me, it’s because they’re unrealistic and rigid. They allow no flexibility or forgiveness. So at the first mistake you make, you give up. As soon as you can’t make it to the gym one week, you write off the gym all together. As soon as you slip up on your diet and eat pizza, you start eating whatever you want. You’ve already messed up so might as well just give up all together, right?
Ok, so I’ve got you firmly on the anti-new year’s resolution train now. But, wait. You still want to have goals this year. You still want to try to go to the gym or start that diet or see your friends more. So, how do you have new year’s goals without it being a resolution?
Let me introduce you to the New Year’s theme. It’s simple. You create a theme that you want your year to embody and everyday you actively work towards that theme. Let me give you some examples. Instead of going to the gym three times a week or starting a super specific diet, your theme would be health. This year you want to work on being healthier, whatever that looks like for you. Or instead of wanting to see your friends at least twice a month, your theme would be to be more social.
By setting a New Year’s theme, you allow yourself flexibility and grace. You didn’t get to the gym this week? That’s ok, because you’re still generally working towards being healthier than you were last year. You had a crazy month and couldn’t make time for friends? That’s ok, you can see them next month and you’ll still be able to say you’re being more social than last year.
And it’s not too late, that’s the beauty of the New Year’s themes. It doesn’t matter that it’s mid-January, start your new theme right now. Whether it’s being healthier or more social or more productive, start actively working towards your theme, no rigid and strict goals required.
New Year’s themes allow you to fit a new goal into your busy life, instead of New Year’s resolutions, which require you to fit your busy life into a new goal.
Long story short, New Year’s resolutions are out, and New Year’s themes are in. And remember to give yourself a little grace. Life happens. Don’t give up on what you want out of the year just because you had a bad day or even a bad week. Keep working towards your theme and you’ll thank yourself later. Or you can thank me, that works too.