Relationships are hard, especially in college. You have to plan dates along two schedules, balance time between school, friends and boyfriends, and walk the line between staying independent while also fully committing yourself to your relationship. To add to all that stress, technology has only made relationships exponentially more difficult.
Gone are the days where your own Mr.Darcy had to pull his balls out of his back pocket and show up at your front porch to express his undying love to you. Sorry Taylor, but boys just don’t talk on real slow on the phone anymore cause itâs late and their mamas don’t know. Oh and Kelly, be thankful you even had a stupid love song to fall for. You got a love song, I got a date to Johnâs Incredible Pizza.
Texting, smartphones, and Facebook have seriously complicated our love lives. Nowadays, boys won’t even bother to get to know us by asking us out. Based on our profiles they can decide weâre not even worth dating because maybe our taste in music âsucksâ.(Excuse me for enjoying an occasional Nickelback song!) If you do manage to get a guyâs attention, don’t expect a call anytime soon. Why actually use a phone to call someone when you can text them, or better yet, use your Facebook app to message them?! Oh you got the guy to make a commitment? Well now you can spend the night analyzing(i.e. crying) over the fact that some(in the words of Nicki Minaj) âstupid hoeâ checked in with him at Boba Tea House.
If you havenât caught onto my witty(bitter) backhanded comments, I recently got out of a relationship. Well, pushed and shoved would be a better way of describing it, but Iâm going to try to not be so dramatic. Yes it was a learning experience, but save me the âYou deserve better,â âYou shouldnât cry because itâs over, smile because it happened,â and any other gag worthy comments that every recently dumped girl hears from her friends.
This is not that type of article. I don’t know you. Iâm busy being bitter myself over here so unless you want to get together and be bitchy together, I can’t make you feel better. (But just one thing. Since you chose to read my article youâre obviously incredibly smart, funny and all around too awesome to ever be dumped by anyone!)
But I digress.
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Iâve decided I will be your Carrie Bradshaw, Riverside! Iâve been dating since I was 12 years old, experienced true love, long distance relationships, and had my heart broken enough times to know what Iâm talking about. Why not take all this experience and make something useful out of it? I was unlucky enough to be born with the singing capabilities of The Nanny, so writing number one hits like my girl crush Taylor hasnât really worked out for me. Based on my most recent relationship, Iâm going to write on warning signs no girl in a monogamous relationship should ignore. I did, and look where I am. Single, becoming slightly neurotic, but overall only getting more awesome.
So here they are, the 5 relationship red flags no girl(or boy) should ignore. And no, youâre not being petty by bringing up your issues with something in your relationship. Better to say something than nothing at all. And if you can relate to multiple of these warning signs, then in the words of Childish Gambino, you just might be his girlfriend but not his real âgirlfriend.â
1. Doesn’t Remove Facebook Albums of the Ex-Girlfriend
We all have exes. We all have a Facebook account, so an album full of pictures of you and your former boo are inevitable. But if someone asks you to go steady before deleting all traces of their former girlfriend, weâve got a problem. Iâm not saying delete the photos forever, but cmon, how am I supposed to give my friends the link to your profile with your ex-girlfriend is still clouding up your photo albums.
2. His Friends Insult You…And He Does Nothing
Bros before hoes? Thatâs cool, choose your âbrosâ over me, but your bros don’t make you lunch when youâre having a stressful week and no bro of yours is going to keep you warm at night. Ladies, thereâs a fine line between staying true to your friends and being too big of a wimp to stand up for your girlfriend. If your boyfriend doesn’t say anything when his friends insult you, most likely heâs joining in when youâre not around. (Trust).
4. Mocks Your Interests/Goals
Iâm a Psychology and Womenâs Studies major with an unprecedented love for Taylor Swift and I eat way too many french fries. Deal. With. It. This one is simple, if your boyfriend doesn’t try to understand or at least respect the things you love or your goals in life, then itâs just not going to work. Excuse me for not being a science major who listens to bands no one cares about. The next time your boyfriend casually jokes about something you sincerely care about, let him know how much it bothers you. If it continues then be aware that it will most likely never change.
5. Doesnât Make It Facebook Official
I don’t think making a relationship Facebook official is that big of a deal. A relationship is between two people, so why do some feel the need to tell everyone from their BFF from second grade to their former computer science TA. Things get fishy though when you both know the relationship is going to last for a substantial amount of time and yet one person remains reluctant to put it on Facebook. In my situation, I was smart enough to never post it, saving me the depressing change of relationship status update. This red flag is more difficult to maneuver, but very important, especially if your relationship has hit the three month mark. Â