I’m not sure if it’s like this for all introverts, but my tendency to overanalyze situations only makes it harder for me to even attempt interacting with others. It is a combination of awkwardness and introvertedness, coupled with good old-fashioned social anxiety. These things together make it very hard for me to want to talk to people, I overthink every little thing I sayand, days after a conversation, I’ll remember something that I said that I now think is dumb.
It is a constant back and forth in my mind, whether I should or shouldn’t talk, and what I should even say. Do I express myself and put myself out there? Is it better to just sit quietly and let others talk it out? Should I just not talk at all and leave? These are only some of the questions that I’ve had, and it feels as if it gets worse the longer I interact with people I don’t know well.
The fact of the matter is: I constantly overthink. I can’t let myself make a simple decision like oranges or apples, and it’s the same when I try to talk to people. Do I hold back? Do I show my entire personality? What if they think I’m fake? What if they think my personality is overbearing?
The basic needs of meeting people, socializing, being friends, and creating relationships all falls on how you present yourself to others. But what if they just don’t like you? Do you risk saying something in the first place or preventing the heartache from trying by not interacting? I want to say that I’m not bothered by being alone, but the reality is: humans need relationships. We thrive off relationships with others, whether they be good or bad. It is fundamental to our socialization and the roles that we take on as humans. We need interaction in our everyday lives; it’s everywhere: texting, calling, talking with friends, answering questions in class, complimenting someone in passing for their cool hair. Humans must interact and express one’s thoughts and feelings. But how can one do this when they constantly overthink everything they do?
Even as I write this article, I have many questions popping up in my head. Is this making any sense? Will people read Even as I write this article, I have many questions popping up in my head. Is this making any sense? Will people read this and relate? Will they think I’m weird? I bet I don’t make any sense. It feels like a never-ending cycle of the same fundamental issue: I’m afraid I’ll say the wrong thing. People won’t understand me as a person because I said something that they didn’t like or couldn’t relate to. I may say that I don’t care what people think of me, but I do, and that’s why I overthink things that I say. I don’t want people to think I’m not smart or don’t know what I’m talking about. I want people to get a good understanding of me, even if it’s through a five-minute conversation, because we want to be liked.
We want that feeling of being relatable and being understood. We fear judgment and criticism. This may seem like rambling instead of a cohesive article, but this is really the inner workings of my mind as someone who puts so mWe want that feeling of being relatable and being understood. We fear judgment and criticism. This may seem like rambling instead of a cohesive article, but this is really the inner workings of my mind as someone who puts so much effort into trying to interact well with others. Reading this might give you a headache, but this is how I think every single time I interact with another person. And yes, this thinking gives me headaches on the daily, and I wish it were something that I could stop, but it’s not possible. It’s just how I think and I’ve come to terms with it because it’s not something that’ll go away overnight. And while it may make it harder to talk to people, it makes me feel that much prouder when I do interact because while I was trying to talk, there were these thoughts all in the back of my mind, and I was still able to do it.