19 Lessons I’ve Learned in 19 Years

My 19th birthday was yesterday, and it was a time for me to reflect on the past 19 years of my life. I’ve lived through so many different experiences and events, which have taught me a plethora of life lessons. Although many of these will be cheesy, it is nice to hear them one more time. Keep in mind that these are obviously not revolutionary; these are things I’ve picked up during the course of growing up, and I try to live by them. I hope these help anyone out there that needs a quick reminder.

1. Speak your truth — Yes, this can be scary. I know it’s hard to voice your opinion when it is different from your friends, but it is always important to make sure your voice is heard.
2. Pain is temporary — The things you are worried about now will most likely not matter in a month, maybe even a week. Take each day as it comes and know that even if it hurts now, it won’t feel this way forever.
3. People come and go — I’m just a freshman and yet I’ve already lost contact with people I met last quarter. It’s important to know that the friends you have currently may not be in your life for much longer, so put in the effort if you want them to stay.
4. People don’t care — I mean this in the kindest way, but people are only concerned with themselves. I promise you no one saw you drop your phone in class or heard you pee in the communal bathroom. There is no reason to be concerned about little things that people most likely do not notice at all.
5. You don’t ask, you don’t get — Speaking up is hard. I get it. But if you never ask for what you want, you’re never going to get it. We’re all grown here; you can ask the waiter for a new order if they made it wrong.
6. It’s not always a competition — You don’t always have to be the best at everything. Most of the time, it is just people going about their day, probably not even focused on what you are thinking. 
7. If they wanted to, they would — Subsequently, if you want to, you should. Give people the energy you want to receive back, and if the relationship is unfulfilling, maybe it is time to reconsider if you need them in your life.
8. It’s not that deep — This one is my personal favorite. For any minor convenience, this has always been my mantra. I’ve learned that most things are never as serious as they seem.
9. Trying your best is the most you can do — Don’t beat yourself up if you didn’t stay up all night to study for that chemistry midterm. You’re going to wake up well-rested and ready to take it on!
10. Rest is not earned — All human beings need to sleep. We can’t function well without it, no matter how many Yerba Mates you drink. Sleep at least six hours each night.
11. Don’t compare your chapter one to someone else’s chapter seven — Let’s say I started cooking last night and I see Gordon Ramsay the next day searing a perfect medium rare. Our steak is not going to look the same at all, but it’s important to keep in mind that this is his career and just my hobby, so our journey will presumably be different.
12. Life is a box of chocolates — Forrest Gump said it best. There are going to be ups and downs, so be prepared for both and embrace them.
13. Take a love language quiz — This one I would recommend for everyone. It is important to know how you want to receive and give love before you can expect anyone else to know. Figure out what you and your friends like so that you can appreciate each other.
14. Shoot your shot — UC Davis has about 30,000 students. If you like the girl in your 300+ calculus lecture, just tell her. Chances are you will never see her again if it goes bad; if it goes well, hey, it was all worth it.
15. Don’t take it personally — Most things people say are not meant to hurt you as deeply as you might think. People usually hurt you unintentionally, so make sure you evaluate if it was targeted before you get your emotions up.
16. Love yourself before others — You have been there for yourself from the moment you were born, and you are going to be there until you die. No one else is gonna be as supportive of you as you are, so put yourself first and show yourself love.
17. Walk it off — Did you accidentally trip in the dining hall? Trust me, no one noticed it. Get up and go about your day. Our failures are chances to learn and grow, so don’t be afraid to fall flat on your face and get right up.
18. Branch out — Networking is always important, even in non-professional settings. It is okay to have a couple of close friends, but you should always be open to new people and experiences. 
19. Say yes — You will never be able to grow in your comfort zone. You need to be pushed into unfamiliar situations to learn something new. Go attend that club meeting or get dinner with your roommate and their friends. If nothing else, it will be a fun story to tell others about.

This list is just advice. Sometimes, not all of these will feel doable. Try to focus on 3-4 each day and I promise that you will see your overall happiness increase.

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