“That was so embarrassing. It literally took me 20 minutes to unlock my bike back there.”
“Why do bike locks rust so quickly?”
“I can’t believe someone stole my free bike light. WHO DOES THAT?”
“Watch, the one time I don’t have a bike light, is the one time TAPS catches me.”
“For all the pedaling that I’m doing, I’m literally going nowhere. Thanks wind.”
“Oh my god, I almost hit that squirrel.”
“The squirrels here are reckless — they’re basically asking to get hit.”
“How is that couple holding hands while biking? I can barely bike with two hands.”
“Um, can you not cut me off in the middle of a bike circle?”
“There’s too many people entering this roundabout. I’m going to die.”
“Why do people skateboard? They don’t even go that fast.”
“If you changed the gears on your bike you’d be going faster and pedaling less.”
“Ugh, this cruiser is going way too slow.”
“It’s so cold/hot out, and I’m sweating like no other.”
“Can I even make it to class in two minutes?”
“Why did I even bike? I could have just walked…”
“OMG, that moron almost hit me!”
“I’ve never crashed.”
“Okay, maybe I crashed once…”
“Finally made it! But of course — there’s no parking.”