Summer is upon us. For most people, this is a good thing. But for people like me who are basically cold-blooded, summer means misery and bad skin. Here are some ways to not be wretchedly unhappy in this heat.
1. Don’t leave your house, ever.
Yup, that’s right. School is out and it’s your time to check out. Besides, you have everything you need to survive and thrive inside your house/apartment. A toilet, shower, bed, water, air conditioning, and pizza delivery. Girl, you’re good! This is a great option for avoiding the summer heat because you’ll have time to watch all the movies, read all the books, and never feel obligated to talk to people outside! It’s truly a win-win.
2. Be a Mermaid!
While it’s still hot outside, you won’t feel anything under the water! The mermaid life is pretty sweet since you’ll be spending most of your time in the deep waters, your skin will always be glowing, your hair flows, and your body is cool. Honestly though, heat aside, being a mermaid is THE LIFE. I mean, no more showers, cute bras, amazing singing voice, and the ability to lure asshole men to their death?? Sign me the fuck up.
3. Move to the Moon
Want a summer adventure? Move to the Moon! I’m pretty sure it’s cold there, I mean, it doesn’t get much sunlight. All you have to do is take a rocket and make sure you have enough food and air in your astronaut suit and you’re good! Besides, we all need a little spontaneity in our life here and there.
4. Only Eat Ice Cream
What better way to stay cool than to only eat the coolest of foods? Ice cream comes in so many different flavors: strawberry for when you’re feeling fruity, chocolate for when you’re feeling… chocolatey. There’s even sorbet for when the dairy gets to be too much. I don’t see how anything can go wrong, and plus, every day will be a literal treat!
5. Tell the Sun to Go Away
I’m sure the sun gets pretty burnt out emitting those 63 million watts of energy per square meter. Should they deserve a break? If you can get the rest of the world on board, you all can work together to create a giant sign, saying something like “TAKE A BREAK” or “TREAT YOURSELF” to the sun so it knows it’s appreciated, and they might take a holiday! Then you can spend the rest of your summer chilling (literally).
But on a more serious note, I know the summer can be draining and unpleasant, especially in Davis. But don’t let the break go to waste! Swim as much as you can, catch up on reading and shows, travel to someplace cooler, eat as much ice cream as you want, and when you feel ready, soak in that sunlight. We must make the most out of the time we have.
That being said, have a fabulous summer!