April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. In honor of such an important and present issue today, here is a list of 8 ways you can help sexual assault survivors that open up to you.
1. Offer your support.
The best thing you can say to a survivor once they tell you is: “I believe you.” There are so many issues today with people questioning the credibility of those who come forward after their assault. It is not your job to question those confiding in you.
2. Avoid asking them what they were wearing or if they were drunk.
Asking them these questions implies they are somewhat to blame, while in fact, it is never the victim’s fault for what has happened. The blame is solely on the attacker(s).
3. Realize that their healing journey may be different from your own or someone else’s.
Everyone’s process through this experience is different. It is important to realize that there are multiple ways to cope and there is no necessarily right or wrong way.
4. Let them know that it is okay not to be okay.
There can be a lot of pressure to continue on like one is okay or act like if one just ignores what happened, it will go away. It is okay to break down and not feel alright. Be there for them in these moments.
5. Encourage the survivor to find outside help.
There are many resources for the survivors of sexual assault to reach out to, including counseling and groups. Additionally there is the option of reporting it to police and/or any administration. Don’t pressure anyone into these options, but let them know of these viable paths to take.
6. Tell them that it is not their fault.
This cannot be overstated or said enough.
7. Understand that the effects of the assault can last a very long time, even a lifetime, and certain moments a long time after the incidnet can still be difficult for the survivor.
8. Don’t ask for more details than given
They will give you as much information as they feel comfortable. As time continues, more might be said but it is never your job to ask for more. What they are going through is extremely personal, making it their business to tell as much as they want to.
Resources for Help:
UC Davis CARE (Center for Advocacy, Resources, and Education)
National Resources for Sexual Assault Survivors and Their Loved Ones
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