Solána Imani Rowe, popularly known as SZA, is my favorite artist of all time. Her album Ctrl, released in 2017, still has the same impact on me now as it did when it got released. Every single song is written and composed to perfection. More importantly, the album is based on her life and the ups and downs she went through, which a lot of her listeners (including me) heavily resonate with.
All of the songs in this album are immaculate, but here are some of my favorites.
“Drew Barrymore” highlights the idea of an unbalanced relationship and the issues of insecurity and self-esteem that arise from these types of relationships. One lyric hits the spot when she says, “I get so lonely I forget what I’m worth.” This lyric especially connected with me because before coming to college, I experienced terrible relationships where I used to define myself with the success of my relationships. Since all my relationships failed, I used to think I was a failure. I remember this one time I stayed in a relationship way longer than I needed to because I thought I would be alone forever (not true), and I had to stay with him to feel better about myself. I struggled with my self-worth and self-esteem; as SZA said, I did forget my worth. As cheesy as it sounds, this song forced me to get out of the situation and get back on my feet, so this will be one of the most influential songs of my life.
“Normal Girl” is my second favorite song. This is the song I scream at the top of my lungs every time it comes on, no matter what time of day it is. This song is so passionate; you can feel what SZA is trying to tell us and what she felt like during that time of her life. “Normal Girl” is, again, about feeling like you are not worthy or not enough for someone, no matter what you could do for them. As someone constantly dealing with waves of insecurity, hearing someone as beautiful and influential as SZA go through the same thing gave me a lot of hope and helped me gain a sense of security.
My third and last favorite song in this album is “20 Something.” This song is a recent favorite. I couldn’t understand it until I realized I was about to hit my 20s this year. In this song, SZA admits she is in her twenties and doesn’t have her life together. She is unsure of her friendships and romantic relationships in her life and hopes she can carefully navigate her 20s. She warns and hopes that everyone in this stage can do so as well. As someone that is about to turn 20 in literally one month, I have nothing together, and I am terrified for real life. But I know I’ll figure it out, and this song will get me through it.
This is my love letter to SZA and Ctrl. The first time I listened to this album, I went through waves of happiness and sadness and resonated with her music to another level. Her music is honest and empowering. I felt the confusion, heartbreak, and aggression she went through because I was going through the same thing. I was deep in my sad girl era when this album came out, SZA stuck with me when I got out of this era three years later and will stick with me forever.