It’s that season again. The leaves are cascading off the trees and landing in golden bunches on the ground. Between the crunching sound you hear as you walk through them and the nostalgic cold, crisp air (that smells just like winter), you feel a sudden pang in your chest – someone is suddenly missing in a very acute way. You quickly run through ways in your mind of filling that hole. You may even consider pulling out your phone and sending a text. You’re thinking, “Maybe it’ll be different this time”. But that isn’t the real reason you want to text him, and you know it (and you aren’t the only one). It’s because all of a sudden its winter and the holidays, and you’re alone. This season seems designed to get you to throw away everything you’ve worked for these past few months, so we at Her Campus put together a list to remind you of why you shouldn’t:
1. If he isn’t texting you, you shouldn’t be texting him.
2. He’s not there right now for a reason. Remember that reason.
3. Christmas is magical, but it doesn’t have the power to fix people.
4. Just because the weather has changed, doesn’t mean he has.
5. If he wanted to be there, he would be. Bottom line.
6. You’re lonely, and as bad as it sounds, a little desperate. Don’t ever act on impulse.
7. Chances are, you won’t get a response, and if you do, it won’t be the one you want. Better to be strong and independent then to feel rejected.
8. You’re happier without him.
9. All the feelings you’re having right now are temporary. You’re going to hate yourself for doing this once they’re gone.
10. You’re too good for him.
…. And a few things you can do to make sure you WON’T:
1. Reread the above list whenever you feel the urge.
2. Distract yourself. Most importantly, get out of the house. (Just don’t go to his)
3. Avoid sappy movies for a few days. Watch action flicks, like 300.
4. Give your phone to someone you’re with – your mom, your friend, etc. for the time being. *Don’t even think about Facebook messaging him.
5. Delete him off your Facebook friends – it’ll keep you from lurking, and keep your temptation at bay.
6. “I am better than this”. Repeat.
7. Exercise! It’s an aphrodisiac.
8. Sit down and write out a list of why it didn’t work. In times like these, it’s hard to remember the bad things. You need to remember the bad things.
9. Delete him from the contacts on your phone.
10. The urge comes from being lonely. Don’t be. Watch a marathon of your favorite show, help your mom in the kitchen, go out with friends.
Bottom line is that he’s probably happy without you, so be happy without him. You’re beautiful, strong, and independent – why shouldn’t you be?