Chivalry. Thankfully, it’s not dead. Unfortunately, the nice boys seem to take it a little too far. We all know to stay away from the “bad boy”, who will inevitably break our hearts. For those of us with the willpower to resist the mystery of the “bad boy,” we are now faced with our own set of issues with the “nice guy.”
This type of guy takes things slow. We’ve desperately been waiting for the boy who takes the time to get to know us. We have no doubt that if this boy likes us, it is because he likes our witty, intelligent personality and our natural beauty. But, how can we be sure this guy actually likes us with his mixed signals?
Actions that show he’s interested:
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He calls/texts you when something reminds him of you.
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He wants to hang out… sober!
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He offers to pay for you.
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He remembers when you have stressful or exciting events, such as an exam or interview, and asks how they went.
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He tickles you.
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He keeps things or notes you give him.
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He pulls you in close while at parties to show that you’re “taken.”
Actions that put you in the friend zone:
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He talks about other girls.
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He asks you about other guys (depending on the question it could signal he’s interested and trying to feel out the situation).
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He is never the one to invite you to hang out.
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He does not initiate cuddling or other forms of innocent physical contact.
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He waits to see you only at parties or other public settings.
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He refuses to make a move and kiss you!
How are we supposed to decipher the meanings behind actions from both categories? The answer is: we can’t!
Boys:
Every girl wants to get swept off of her feet. As Will Smith says in “Hitch”, “No matter what, no matter when, no matter who… any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet. He just needs the right broom.” In order to do this–you MUST make a move! Rejection sucks, there is no denying it, but on the other hand, isn’t regret worse than rejection? The worst possible scenario is that the girl will say that she is flattered by your advance but would rather just be friends. Okay, now you have a couple awkward minutes before you return to being friends. Best case scenario; she is beyond excited that you finally made a move and reciprocates your feelings back to you.
It is very rare that a girl will turn you away if you aggressively, yet carefully, grab her face and passionately kiss her luscious lips, just as you have imagined doing since you first met her. Your confidence and courage will put you into a different category entirely; you are now self-assured and ballsy– incredibly sexy traits, especially when you continue to take her wants and needs into consideration as well. It may turn out that no chemistry is felt between the two of you on her part, your part, or both of your parts. At least you will no longer wonder: what if? You will be able to fully move on knowing that you gave it your all.
As you’ve indubitably figured out, making your first move while inebriated is much easier than while sober. Liquid courage will be there for you time and again; however, it can also make you forgetful. You do not want to have this incredible night at a party with a girl and then leave without getting her number! How are you supposed to see her again if you have no way of contacting her? Do not respond with Facebook. Although Facebook is a great way to keep in contact and show interest, it should not be your primary form of communication. It is not as personal as a phone call or text and requires you both to magically be on at the exact same time. If Facebook is the only means of communication that you currently have, use it to get another form! Ask for her number; it’s as simple as that.
This leads me to my next important piece of advice: call/text her first! Girls oftentimes believe that it is a guy’s job to make the initial contact. It is not worth trying to hold out and see if she’ll cave first. If you like her, show her through your actions. She will easily lose interest (and get incredibly frustrated) if you take too long to contact her. Once you initiate, she will reciprocate.
Lastly, having her number isn’t the end all, be all. It’s what you do with her number that’s most important.The purpose of a phone is to communicate with others. Usually, this involves making plans to then meet up with the person you are talking to. In simpler terms, call her and ask her on a date! Only then can you win her over with your witty personality. You will never get to the level of relationship that you want unless you actually hang out. Take the initiative and make it happen.
Warning: being aggressive does not mean giving her a rash on her chin from your facial hair stubble. It does not mean texting/calling her 24/7 to see what she is doing at every second of the day. Aggressive truly means assertive. Assertive means passionate. It means expressing the urgency of needing her close to you. It means pulling her into you by the small of her back.
I hope that you lovely colliegettes™ reading this now can subtly leave this article up on your computer for your guy best friend, cute classmate, co-worker, (or boss) to read and finally get the courage to plant one on you!
http://lovestruckguru.com/dating-tips/when-should-you-have-your-first-kiss/
http://throwthestarfishback.blogspot.com/2011_07_01_archive.html