For the majority of my life, I’ve been engaged in comparing myself to others. Initially, it revolved around school and sports, but now, as a college student, the focus has shifted to GPA, internships, appearance, physique, status, and various accomplishments. Contemplating the future, I’ve started to worry about comparing metrics like job titles, income levels, house sizes, and overall worldly successes. There’s actually a scientific explanation for our propensity to judge ourselves against others. Comparing ourselves to others helps our brains determine how we stack up against them. Comparing ourselves to others is fundamental for shaping our self-perception, and identifying our strengths, weaknesses, and areas for growth.
We are inundated with posts on social media sites like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter that highlight our shortcomings. These applications lead us to doubt certain parts of our own lives by acting as comparison traps. Social media is a highlight reel of other people’s lives, and it’s easy to overlook that. We frequently don’t see their hardships; instead, we see their brightest moments. We tend to bias our assessment by contrasting our shortcomings with those of others.
I’ve learned that there are countless categories in which we may compare ourselves and nearly a limitless number of people with whom we might compare ourselves. Furthermore, because social media has taken over our lives, it’s simpler than ever to find someone “better” to compare ourselves to, which only makes us feel inferior to others. We never come to an end once we start down that path.
Examining yourself in relation to others, a phenomenon known as “social comparison,” can have unexpected effects on you. On a positive note, engaging in a healthy and constructive comparison may boost your self-esteem or motivate you to pursue positive self-development. Conversely, adopting a negative form of social comparison has the potential to diminish self-esteem and elevate the likelihood of experiencing depression. Recognizing the dynamics of social comparison and being aware of its drawbacks can assist you in identifying and addressing this inclination within yourself, should it arise.
Real-Life Effects of Comparing Yourself to Others
- Persistent negative and anxious thoughts, often challenging to escape (referred to as rumination)
- Elevated levels of anxiety and depression
- Increased spending as individuals strive to match the lifestyle of others (commonly known as keeping up with the Joneses
Some Tips on How to Cope with Comparison Anxiety
βΒ Focus your energy on the things that are in your control
βΒ Stop overanalyzing the little things
β Unlock the power of contentment
β Learn to compete with yourself instead of others
βΒ Remember that we all have strengths and weaknesses
βΒ Prioritize establishing and sustaining your personal goals before anything else.
β Have boundaries on how much time is spent on social media
β Reaffirm your achievements and the effort you’ve invested in your work.
β Celebrate other people and their achievements too
β Concentrate solely on the things under your control.
Examining and comparing experiences is a valuable approach to self-discovery. Athletes analyze past films to improve their technique, chess masters review others’ games, and researchers explore colleagues’ papers. Such comparisons contribute to our learning process.
However, venturing into judgmental territory can be detrimental. Making comparisons like “He is better than me” or belittling oneself with thoughts like “How stupid, why didn’t I think of that” is counterproductive. Judgments result in putting others down or oneself, and this does not benefit either party involved.