Hookup culture is a frequent component of many people’s college experiences; nevertheless, many people are unaware of how damaging this culture can be. My involvement with the hookup culture is something I definitely regret but it is also something that has shaped who I am and contributed to what I now think. I’ve realized that what I believed was a sexually freeing and thrilling experience was actually incredibly damaging to my perspective of myself, sex, and healthy relationships. It just left me feeling empty and miserable inside
We live in a culture that encourages rapid gratification and teaches us that if we don’t like what we have, we can always improve. Hooking up, for some, means not having to ponder what you could be missing out on if you were “stuck” in a committed relationship. Others claim that those who hook up are missing out since their brief encounters lack the emotional connection of a relationship. Most people are sexual beings, but it’s absolutely degrading to think that’s all they desire from others at times. It’s bizarre to believe that people use other people for their own pleasure.
People are beginning to resemble tissues; you use them up and discard them. I’ve been on the receiving end as well as the offender of this. Why would we stay and deal with even minor issues when the next person is just a Tinder swipe away? It doesn’t seem to foster a supportive environment where you can get to know someone emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, and physically at all.
In fact, the nature of hooking up is to remove all of those elements, leaving only the physical and sometimes the cerebral. We cannot thrive if just parts of ourselves are accepted and everything else is disregarded or deemed too difficult to deal with.
I’m currently attempting to understand what it means for me to have sex with someone, what it means to be intimate and love and care for someone, what it means to emotionally open up, etc. So far, I’ve learned that I can’t give that part of myself (both emotionally and physically) to just anyone and that I am more than deserving of proper treatment. I want to feel good about having sex, not just in the moment, but also afterwards. Giving your body to someone you know nothing about has become so acceptable in our society today. This puts a lot of strain on girls’ bodies and their willingness to do things. This is a massive act of self-destruction.
So, if you’re reading this and are dealing with this identical scenario, know that you deserve more. You deserve to be loved for who you are, not simply what you are prepared to do. Most importantly, be patient. Never feel obligated to someone, especially if they know you are not prepared. If hookup culture is your thing then by all means go for it. However, make time to check in with yourself and your emotions to assess the impact of hookup culture in your life.