Boys are stupid. That’s usually the conclusion us girls come to in most situations where we interact with a boy. Despite this truth, this is not always the case. Often times, our frustration builds because boys don’t understand what we’re saying or what we want them to do because they simply do not think in the same way we do. Although boys and girls are technically the same species, our interactions tend to prove how very different we are. Our modes of communication are so opposite that there’s even a term that describes the different languages and communication styles of men and women: genderlect.
Polite = Agreement. Women tend to smile and nod their heads while someone speaks to them because they want to encourage the other person (especially a quiet boy) to continue speaking. We also want to show that we’re listening, engaged, and care about what the other person is talking about. Although these are all great things to do, oftentimes, men take that as agreement. Men remember and notice body language more than they do words. According to them, if your body language agrees with them, you agree! So, if you’re listening to their story but you do not agree with their solution to handling the problem (for example, punching their best friend for texting you about the bio homework) do not, I REPEAT: DO NOT, nod to encourage them to tell you how they feel. Instead, continue to listen, and tell them that you are happy they came to you with their problem/told you how they feel. Then, you can tell them that punching their best friend may not have been the best way to handle the situation, and, depending on the circumstances, offer some alternative ways of handing the situation.
Lower your voice. Women have a tendency to scream or say “yay” whenever they are happy about something, even if it’s something as simple as getting a good parking spot. Men interpret high-pitched voices as childish, irrational, and hysterical. Boys do want to see that you’re excited or happy about things, but they don’t see why it’s necessary to scream and jump for joy as often as we do. However, women should still continue to be excited and show their excitement; just keep the high-pitched voices to a minimum.
Be sensitive. Men worry about what we think of them. They do take time to do their hair, take care of their skin, stay in shape, and pick out their clothes, FOR US. Making fun of them is okay every once in a while, because who can resist, but do not make a habit of it. Take the time to compliment them! They like it as much as we do.
Face-to-face? I’m not talking about what you think; so don’t get too excited. I’m talking about confrontation. Girls, generally speaking, are not as afraid of confrontation as boys are. We see talking about an issue as a way of avoiding conflict by finding a solution before a true problem arises. Boys will avoid confrontation or speaking their mind at all costs. They fear getting in trouble or losing a potential “option” by saying the wrong thing. The trick is to approach him in a manner where he won’t get defensive; you want him to be receptive to what you have to say. Women prefer to talk face-to-face for direct and undivided communication, but this method puts men on the spot and makes them uncomfortable and defensive. They would rather be side-by-side or even doing an activity when having a conversation because, in these atmospheres, there is much less pressure on them. Some examples include, in the car, especially if he’s driving, or during a commercial, as long as it’s not a commercial during or about a sports game!
Good luck communicating with the boys in your life. Although this will help, they will always be a mystery!