At the beginning of this quarter, I was going through a rough patch in my life, and I was having a lot of trouble processing my feelings. Because of this, I felt lost, confused, and unable to understand any of my emotions. It wasn’t until I came across a video on Instagram that I even remotely reconsidered the idea of journaling my thoughts and feelings. Though I’ve heard countless people in the past talk about journaling and its benefits, I didn’t see the full effects of it until I really began committing time and energy to the activity each and every day.
Previously, I had tried journaling a few times in high school occasionally, however, it wasn’t fulfilling. At all.
When I had tried journaling in the past, it seemed as if I was constantly under the impression that I needed to journal in order to impress, taking on a more artistic approach. I would spend hours trying to perfect a spread, filming Tiktok videos for content, taking pictures, and just trying to encapsulate the aesthetic of the “journaling” as opposed to writing for the sake of letting my emotions go. Although this helped with letting my creativity shine, I couldn’t help but feel unsatisfied with the experience as a whole. I never quite felt fulfilled with the entire journaling aspect of the experience, and even though I felt like I was able to express myself in an artistic manner, I never felt like I could express myself in a more emotional way. I wasn’t able to write what I wanted to write, really feel what I wanted, or express how I felt because I was so caught up in making everything look pretty and perfect.
Besides my experience with journaling artistically, I feel like many of us also struggle with the association of writing with schoolwork. When I think of writing, I automatically associate the task with work and school, as many of my classes, especially in college, require us to write essays and papers. One of the keys to getting into journaling was letting go of the expectations that I had put on myself with journaling. Not only did I start by letting go of the visual component of journaling, and making everything look pretty on the outside, but letting go of the expectations associated with writing attached to the technical side of things, including grammar and the perfection associated with the two.
Journaling is about letting go of your emotions, not about perfection.
Once I was able to set aside the grammar aspect of the journaling, I was able to further push my thoughts and ideas, which really allowed me to dig into my feelings and emotions. By doing so, I was able to let go of all of my previous expectations I placed on myself regarding perfectionism surrounding journaling. Now, this transformation didn’t happen overnight. It took days of sitting at my desk in frustration, in anger, in disappointment, in trial and error. It was hard for me to unlearn what I had subconsciously been taught my entire life – that perfectionism was good, and anything otherwise needed to be fixed. Journaling taught me that there is beauty in imperfection, and there is good in letting your emotions out, whether that’s verbally, or on pen and paper. People process events and emotions in different ways, and journaling is just one way to cope.
So the next time you’re struggling with any strong emotions, or you’re going through a tough time, or you’re just looking for an outlet to get your thoughts down, try journaling. All you need is a notebook – even just a pen and paper will suffice. And remember, there’s beauty in imperfection, especially within journaling. Getting your emotions out doesn’t require perfection.