Most of our college lives will be spent in a shared living space with one or more roommates. My freshman year, I was in a triple dorm room with two friends whom I value to this day. For my second year of college, I shared an apartment with 3 other people, two of who were dear friends I made at the dorms. I didn’t think living in an apartment would be that much different from the school dorms, but I was very wrong. Here are the most important tips to remember when starting the roommate journey.Â
1. Cleaning!!!!
People don’t make a big enough deal about hygiene as they should. Most of it seems self-explanatory, which is why I didn’t feel the need to talk about level of hygiene with my roommates. Although I wasn’t used to doing chores back home regularly, I assumed that in a shared living space everyone would try not to leave a mess and look after themselves. But unless you sit down with your roommates, establish some sort of chore chart and talk about cleaning pet peeves, they most likely will not be able to read your mind.Â
2. Guests
Especially during the time of Covid-19, it’s important to keep everyone’s health and safety in mind. My roommates and I established that anytime we wanted to have a guest over, we should leave a message in the group chat letting everyone know when they plan on coming over. It’s also worth noting that since you’re in a shared space, noise levels should try to be kept to a minimum.Â
3. Communication
Problems are inevitable, but it’s how you handle them that becomes crucial. I used to be the type of person who would get irritated by little things until they blew over, and by that time communication felt impossible. Now, I try to do everything I can to prevent that from happening. This means that I’ll tell my roommates if anything, no matter how small, is bothering me, and we’ll work on a compromise that works for both of us. Communication seems to be the hardest thing for roommates to do, especially if you were friends before, because you don’t want to hurt that person’s feelings. But trust me, the more you tolerate, the harder it becomes to bring things up later.Â
4. Trust
Everything boils down to trust. If there is no mutual trust between you and your roommates, it becomes hard to feel comfortable in your own home. You have to trust they will respect your hygiene, safety, and overall roommate relationship. If this trust is broken, it is oftentimes hard to ever get it back or repair it. It just depends on what your boundaries are and what cannot be crossed.Â
Sometimes, no matter how much you communicate with your roommate, there may be fundamental differences that no amount of negotiating can fix. Having a bad roommate experience can be really draining. You’re constantly walking on eggshells, feel like you’re being watched, and just want some time to breathe. When you’ve tried your best but there seems to be no resolution, it’s also okay to give up. Letting go is sometimes the best decision you can make. In that case, find other things that make you happy! Hanging out with friends, starting a new hobby, and visiting home were all things that helped me find solace when my roommate situation was not going well.